


A Turn of Events - BOTW

by Linked_Aurica



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Link is not having a good time, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Calamity Ganon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, What Have I Done, Zelda Is Desperate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:14:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 35,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linked_Aurica/pseuds/Linked_Aurica
Summary: This story is set after the defeat of Calamity Ganon. Link, one of the five chosen Champions of Hyrule, is faced with the aftermath of all the events that have played out. From waking up in the Shrine of Resurrection, to losing his memories and regaining only a handful of them, has left him with not only physical scars but also mental scars. The latter is what he is facing up to now. He spirals into a depression and the accompanying suicidal thoughts. After an incident, Zelda is desperate to help her friend and knight, but it only seems to get worse. Between rebuilding and visiting the four leaders across Hyrule, she is tasked with saving a life.⚠️ I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS NOR THE FRANCHISE. ALL BELONGS TO NINTENDO⚠️⚠️PLOT IS MINE. ⚠️
Relationships: Link & Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 145
Kudos: 141





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> BIG ASS TRIGGER WARNING FOR BASICALLY THIS WHOLE DAMN HELL HOLE OF A FIC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the rewrite

_ They did it.  _

_ They actually did it.  _

Link stared at the golden light, getting rid of the calamity. Blue took over red and soon the sky was clear again. 

A few feet away stood a figure - no, Zelda- bathed in fading holy powers. Link could do nothing else but look at the very person he failed a hundred years ago. And even though he couldn't remember it all, he did remember her undoubted beauty. 

He missed what she was saying, but heard her question loud and clear. "I must ask," she started, voice soft but clear, "do you really remember me?" 

The question had led him to think, searching for the answer. 

It never came. 

He had to fail. 

He had failed to remember her. 

___

With no castle to return to, they traveled to the nearest stable. Link wanted to go back to Hateno, to his house but Zelda had said that it was getting late. Both Hylians were exhausted. Link let his horse lead the way but still kept his eyes on the surrounding area. Even though the Calamity was gone, monsters were still roaming around.

Zelda almost fell asleep. It was a weird feeling of being able to rest. Though it wasn't entirely without worry. She had seen the look in her trusted knight's eyes; he hadn't remembered her and she knew. She also knew it weighed on him but she didn't want to press on the matter now. She just wanted to sleep. 

They soon reached the stable outside of Hyrule Field. Link dismounted his horse and helped Zelda. "I can't wait to finally sleep," the princess said, tiredness evident in her voice. A simple hum was all the response she got back.  _ He must be tired too,  _ she thought. Not sitting on that thought any longer, she stepped forward to the stable's owner and got her and Link both a bed. As soon as she got undressed, she laid down and fell asleep in a matter of minutes. 

Link, however, didn't have that luxury. He just sat on his bed, looking at the floor. The wood was cracked in some places and the imprints of many footsteps were embedded in it. It told a history of travelers. The wood remembered. He didn't. He wished he could have the footprints of his past embedded in his mind, but the only thing that came back was even more failure and the Calamity. The entity was ruthless and pure evil. That would have a lasting effect, he already knew that.

He looked back to Zelda, who was in a deep restful sleep. He felt tired like he hadn't slept for days - he didn't- but his mind was too full to even let him. Still, he forced himself to lay down and get some shut-eye. 

___

When he actually did fall asleep was unknown to him. It sadly did not leave him rested. The aftermath of the battle finally kicked in; aching muscles, stiff limbs, and a migraine. 

Zelda was already awake and trying to prepare breakfast. Keyword;  _ trying _ . She was looking lost and frustrated. Ignoring his own pain and sorrow, he stepped outside. "In need of any help, princess?" he asked. 

Zelda looked up. 

"Please, I'm hardly a princess. I insist on you calling me Zelda," was her reply. 

"Very well, Zelda. Do you need any help?" Link asked again. "I just wanted to prepare something to eat. You were still asleep and-" she was cut off by Link who had hugged her. "Thank you," he whispered into her hair. "You're- you're welcome," she said. 

Together they finished breakfast and now sat down to look at the next steps. Zelda was mostly talking. "I want to see Impa and Purah," she said after Link had told her they were both still alive. "I have missed them very much," Zelda continued. 

"Do you think they'll be mad at me?"

She looked up to her knight when she got no answer and was met with Link staring aimlessly to the ground past the cooking pot. "Link?" she said, nudging him. It did seem to do the trick. Link looked up. "Sorry, what?" he asked. The confusion was evident in his blue eyes. Worryingly, Zelda furrowed her brows. "Are you okay?" she asked. Link nodded absently. "Just tired," he added. Having a better look at Link, Zelda saw the dark bags under his eyes and his too-pale skin. "Have you slept?" she asked. Link stayed silent for a moment before answering. "I did," he said. "Just not a whole lot," he added later. 

"Are you sure you want to go today?" Zelda asked and Link just simply nodded. So on their way they went. 

To Kakariko. 

______

The reunion didn't go without some tears being shed. "I knew you could do it, Zelda," Impa said with a smile on her face. "You too, Link. You both did it." The Sheikah elder turned her attention to Link, who was leaning against the wall. "It was Zelda who sealed the Calamity away," he said. "Humble as always. That did not leave you. You've always been like that," Impa said. She chuckled slightly. 

Link looked silently at the two women furiously talking. Catching up. Today was the second day his mind was covered with dark clouds and he did not know how to make them go. Maybe it was because the exhaustion was still present. He decided to step outside; the room felt way too small. 

Whatever he did, stepping outside still didn't make his lungs cooperate. The air felt stale and heavy. He let himself fall on the porch at the top of the stairs that seemed to stretch out in front of him. His vision tunneled.

_ "-ink!"  _

_ "Master Link!"  _

The voice was somewhere far away. It was a deeper voice, so it couldn't be Zelda. A hand rested on his shoulder. He barely felt it. 

Again, his name was called. Now he saw the faint outlines of a male. A Sheikah warrior. Dorian. "Master Link, are you okay?" was the now clear question. Link noticed he was slumped over against the railing of the stairs. Unable to utter a word, Link looked at Dorian in confusion.  _ Why was it so hard to catch his breath? Why was everything spinning?  _

"You're panicking. Try and slow down your breathing," Dorian said.  _ When? What?  _ He felt the Sheikah grab his hand and placed it on the other's chest. "Follow me," was the instruction. It sounded simple, but it took several minutes for Link to come back to reality. The air felt lighter now and his vision had stopped swirling. He still couldn't speak. When he tried, the words would evade him. So he stayed silent. His mind was now occupied with one question; what just happened? 

"Maybe we need to get you inside," Dorian said. Link could only nod. He tried to stand, but found that it was a difficult task; his legs felt like jelly. 

Luckily, Dorian was there to help him. 

Link wanted to kick himself. What kind of knight panics? He didn't have much time to think on that. Dorian had pulled Link onto his feet and slung his arm around the Hylian's waist. The sudden movement made Link's stomach lurch violently, but he was able to keep his lunch down. 

Slowly the two men walked inside Impa's house. 

____

Neither Zelda not Impa had any clue on what was happening until the door opened and Dorian stepped inside with Link leaning against him. "Dorian, what happened?" Impa asked. "I don't know. He sat on the steps and seemed unwell. First I thought he had a memory recall," Dorian explained. "But the way he was breathing I suspected he was panicking over  _ something _ ." 

This took Zelda by surprise.  _ Link panicking?  _ She didn't know if he was even able to do that. She shook her head to rid the thoughts and stood up. "Impa, is it possible for Link and I to stay here for the night?" she asked. Impa nodded. "Paya is not here right now, but knowing her, she would mind giving up her bed to Link," she said. 

As soon as she uttered those words, Link felt his legs give out. He was exhausted and after fighting it for a few days, his body shut down. It needed rest. Dorian lifted the collapsed knight in his arms and started ascending the stairs. 

Zelda walked behind them silently. She didn't know what to do with this situation other than wait and keep an eye on her knight. 

_ That's the least I can do.  _


	2. Chapter 2

Light seeped through his closed eyes. It was the first thing that woke him up. Still full of sleep, Link opened his eyes and saw he was laying down. Something soft was beneath him.  _ A bed. He was laying in a bed.  _ The shock was second and he flew up, only to fall down again. "I shouldn't have done that," he scolded himself. He got up again and this time he managed to stand up without incident. Slowly, he descended the stairs and was greeted by three women: Impa, Zelda, and Paya. "M-master Link, how do you feel?" Paya asked, stuttering. "Better, I guess?" Link answered. "You gave us quite the scare, young one," Impa said.

"I'm sorry." 

Link's voice sounded scratchy like he had swallowed sand from the Gerudo Desert. Zelda looked on silently but her eyes said everything. ‘’I’m fine, Zelda,’’ Link said. He didn’t know if it was to comfort and convince himself or the princess. Probably both. He felt horrible about the fact that they couldn’t travel to Hateno Village because of him. ‘’It’s not your fault,’’ Impa said. ‘’How-’’ Link cut himself off. He knew Impa could read him like a book. ‘’Everyone has those moments of weakness.’’

_ Weakness. _

A word that Link hated. He didn’t want to appear weak. Weakness meant failure. Failure meant death.

Death meant amnesia.

His mind started to spiral again. The endless vicious circle of doubt and despair. Forcing himself to break out of it, he sat down next to Zelda. Her presence seemed to calm him. Whether it was because of her holy powers or not, knowing she was safe and well did a great deal. 

‘’I- I wanted to go to Purah, but I don’t know if I should push anything at this point,’’ he heard Zelda say. ‘’I go where you go,’’ Link said. ‘’I don’t want you to push yourself,’’ Zelda replied sternly. ‘’I’ve been through worse. Besides, I have a house there,’’ Link answered. This brought Zelda to full attention. ‘’I didn’t know you had a house!’’ she exclaimed. ‘’I do. They were gonna demolish it, but I bought it. Something felt familiar about it,’’ Link said. 

Zelda kept her mouth shut. She knew  _ exactly  _ what house he was talking about. The house he grew up in, where he lived with his parents. ‘’I would love to see it,’’ she said, trying to hide the nervousness in her voice. She shifted her eyes to Impa who silently shook her head.  _ Not yet _ , her eyes said. Zelda nodded. This should wait for another time. ‘’If we go now, we can be there by nightfall,’’ Link said. He stood up. ‘’But first I might need to get myself cleaned and changed.’’ He was still wearing the same clothes of the day before. ‘’I’ll get our stuff ready,’’ Zelda said. Link nodded and walked off.

‘’You should not mention this to him,’’ Impa said as soon as Link was out of earshot. ‘’When should I tell him? I can’t keep this to myself! He deserves to know,’’ Zelda said. ‘’I know, but having this dumped on him just after the battle isn’t gonna do him any good,’’ the Sheikah elder replied. Zelda nodded again. Her trusted advisor and friend was right. This had to wait. 

____

After Zelda had packed all everything they had - which wasn't much - and Link cleaned and dressed, they went on their way to Hateno. 

Link had given Zelda her own horse. It was a descendent of her own horse from 100 years ago. She was beyond happy and couldn't stop thanking her knight for the effort. Link didn't give much of a reaction other than a hum. His behavior had shifted again and this time it worried the princess. She didn't want to press on the matter too much after what had happened in Kakariko, but she didn't want to be useless either. 

"Link, what's bothering you?" 

Confused, Link turned around. For a moment he did not know what to say. "You've been very silent. More than the last few days. If something is bothering you, please tell me," Zelda continued. Link smiled. "Thank you, but I'm fine. Nature just makes me silent," Link said. But if Zelda wasn't the holder of the Triforce of Wisdom, she'd miss how his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Alright," she said instead. 

They traveled in silence again. But that silence was broken by laughter. The same laughter that would haunt both Hylians in their sleep.  _ Yiga!  _ "Fuck," Link cursed. "Zelda, run!" he yelled. But Zelda did not run, so Link had to slap the horse to get it to move. He then jumped off his own horse. "Ganon will return!" the yiga soldier said, gripping their sickle tightly. Link didn't hesitate and charged with a shout. His first blow was deflected easily, but it also created an opening. The yiga took their chance but found they were no match to the wielder of The Master Sword and retreated. "I'll be back!" they yelled before they disappeared into smoke and scrolls. 

Zelda had managed to stop her horse and looked behind her. Link appeared on the horizon. He seemed fine, but she knew him; he would hide injuries. "Are you okay?" she asked. Link nodded. "They retreated. But I know they'll come back," he said. "Let's not test that theory and continue," Zelda said. Link nodded. 

____

After a few more hours, no yiga and a few rowdy Bokoblins later, they arrived at the quiet village of Hateno. It was just after nightfall. 

The same guard stood at the entrance and looked at the two figures approaching. "Who's there?" he asked, pointing his spear in the direction of the two travelers. The fist one revealed themselves and the guard recognized Link's face. "Master Link, you're back!" he exclaimed. Link simply nodded. He dismounted his horse, followed by Zelda. "I saw a big golden light in the sky, was that you?" the guard asked. Link didn't answer and Zelda noticed he didn't want to. "We're both very tired," she said. 

"Of course, I'm sorry." 

After those words, Link and Zelda passed the guard and Link led her to his house. 

"It's not much and I only have one bed. You can take the bed, I'll take the floor," Link said after he had tended to both horses and walked to open the door.

"I can't ask you -" 

"I insist."

Zelda fell silent and nodded. She knew a discussion was not the wisest thing to do so she complied. 

"Very well. I'll be heading to bed. Long travel is something I need to get used to and I want to be fit to meet with Purah," she said. Link pointed to where the bed was and gave her his blue tunic. He hadn't worn it during the battle so it was still clean." Thank you," Zelda said with a small smile. 

" You're welcome."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BIG ASS TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS ENTIRE FIC!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for alcohol use and mentions of self-harm

Midnight approached soon and Link was lying awake on his bedroll under the stairs. There was complete silence, save for Zelda's soft breathing. 

It drove him crazy. The silence caused his mind to drift back to the battle. To everything that had happened before that and to the few memories he had regained. He sat up. Sleeping wasn't gonna work. Maybe a drink would help his nerves. He had some liquor stored in one of the cabinets.  _ Just a little bit,  _ he told himself. 

That little bit turned into a lot more and soon he sat on the floor, crying silently. He was still mindful to not wake up Zelda. His mind was tearing him apart from the inside. In a fit of anger, he slammed his fist against the table. It caused the bottle to sway and fall on the floor. With a loud crack, it hit the wood and broke. Numbly he looked at the broken glass and the liquid seeping into the cracks of the wood, absorbing it. Without thinking, he grabbed a piece of glass. He hovered it over his arm, trembling. 

Before he could even make a move, he was knocked over with a "no" attached to it. 

Zelda had awoken from the sound of the glass breaking and went to investigate. She then found her knight on the floor with a glass shard in his hand. Her mind went to the worst possible idea. So she tackled him. 

"What were you thinking?" she yelled. Link looked at her with unfocused eyes. "Hylia, you're drunk," she then said. Link just looked and said nothing. He couldn't utter a word. "Let's get you to bed. We're going to talk about this tomorrow," Zelda said, lifting Link onto his legs. He stumbled and leaned heavily on her, but they got upstairs and to the bed. She laid him down and then he uttered one word. 

"Sorry." 

___

Despite the events of the night before, Zelda slept relatively well, but her awakening wasn't as restful. She opened her eyes and looked next to her; Link wasn't there. She immediately got up and went downstairs. He was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. 

"Link."

The knight turned around at the sound of his name. "Morning. I figured I should make us some breakfast before we go to see Purah," he said, turning back to what he was doing. "Link, we need to talk," Zelda said. "About what?" Link asked. "About last night," Zelda started, "you were drunk and I don't know what you would do if I hadn't stopped you," she then said. Link stayed silent. He didn't remember a lot from his drunken stupor, but he remembered the deep desire to hurt. "I'm fine," he said. "No, you're not! Don't think I don't know that this whole thing hasn't affected you- affected  _ me _ ," Zelda said with a raised voice. 

"Don't think I haven't seen you looking off in the distance, your fake smiles."

"I told you, I'm fine!" 

"Then why did I find you on the floor with glass in your hands, drunk, ready to  _ cut  _ your arm open!" 

"Because exactly what you said! I was drunk! I couldn't sleep!" Link yelled. "I wasn't thinking! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry you had to see that side of me!" After those words he walked away, leaving Zelda alone. 

She thought. She thought of how long this was going on. If he had been hiding this all this time.  _ Had he done this before? Is this a problem that needs attention?  _ She didn't have any answers. She had read a lot of books, but artifacts on the mind were lost during the Calamity. She needed to ask Purah. "Maybe she knows how it works." 

____

"What?" Purah looked at Zelda and vice versa. Both were surprised when they saw each other. Zelda had all sorts of questions as to why Purah was a  _ child _ and Purah wanted to know where Link was. Or Linky as she called him. "I don't know where he is. We had an argument just this morning," Zelda said. "Are we talking about the same Link here?" Purah asked. "I don't know." Zelda bit her lip, thinking how to word what she was about to say. "I found him," she started, looking at the young scientist, "drunk. Last night." Purah's eyes grew a few inches in width as she looked at the princess. "Linky… Drunk?" she stammered. Zelda nodded. "Yes. I don't know what possessed him to do such a thing. I- he was about to-" before Zelda could finish her sentence, the door opened with a loud bang and Link stood in the opening. 

"Linky! You're here!" Purah said in her usual upbeat voice. Though Zelda felt her nervousness. "Hi Purah, I see you've reunited," Link said, eyeing Zelda. "Yes, we have. I'm so proud of both of you! I bet you went and visited my sister already," Purah said. 

"We did. I'm so happy I got to see her again!" 

"Watch out. You might have competition on who's the favorite," Link said. A playful smirk appeared on his face. "Pff, I still am the most fun around," Purah said. Link simply shrugged. "So, how have you two been doing?" Purah asked, despite already knowing what had happened. "I've been doing alright. Tired, but alright," Link replied. "I'm doing fine too. It was indeed tiring but we did it," Zelda said. "I can't wait to start rebuilding," she added. "I might need to start and visit the four leaders. I think they need closure as well." 

A strangled sound came from behind her. Turning around she saw Link looking at her like he had seen a ghost. "I know it's painful, but we'll get through it," she said. She was nervous. She still blamed herself for the fall of Hyrule and all of its deaths, but she also wanted to right the wrongs. But she also wanted to find out what was amiss with her knight. "Link.. Would you mind stepping out for a moment. I wanted to talk to Purah for a moment," she said. Link nodded and walked out. 

"I need to know what is happening to him. I haven’t seen him in 100 years, but he has changed,’’ Zelda said. ‘’Zellie, listen. The shrine undoubtedly changed him. He’s not the same man he used to be,’’ Purah said. ‘’Purah, has,’’ Zelda paused,’’ has this ever happened before?’’ she asked. Purah let out a sigh. ‘’I don’t- yes. Yes, it has,’’ she admitted. Zelda looked at the scientist with shock laced on her face.

‘’I visited him once when I knew he was in town, but he never opened the door when I knocked. I walked in and saw him sleeping on the ground with several bottles around him.’’

Zelda could only listen. She couldn’t remember a moment where Link ever started drinking. He was her loyal knight, never off duty. Even on his days off, he would be vigilant and ready to defend her. ‘’This started after the shrine, right?’’ she asked with a tiny voice. ‘’I suspect so,’’ Purah answered. 

____

Link sat outside. He still had that persistent headache after his nightly drinking. It was a bad habit and he had to kick it. Especially after Zelda had found him. Purah did too, weeks before when the pressure built up so much that he needed something to relieve it and sleep better.

It did start out as simply something to help him sleep. But it had spiraled out of control. He hated himself for it. He hated himself in general. The dark clouds had taken over when he started to regain memories. It left him empty and unable to sleep, nightmares pulling at his conscience. He felt his hands shake, not knowing if it was from the anxiety or skipping breakfast. He figured it was both. After he stormed off, he hadn’t eaten anything. And if he tried, he would throw it back up. So he just didn’t. Everything was better than the mental pain he endured. 

He felt distant like he wasn’t there. Almost like an out of body experience. A void, somewhere he can’t reach. Everything felt out of place. It made sense but at the same time, it didn’t. 

‘’Link, are you ready to go?’’ Zelda’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. ‘’Yes,’’ he simply said. Standing up, it took him a moment to get his balance but regained it none the less. ‘’I’m fine,’’ he said - one too many times - before Zelda could ask anything. 

‘’I- I wanted to start and see the leaders.’’ 

A pause.

‘’I want to go to Zora’s Domain.’’ Link forgot how to breathe for a second. His muddled mind had to process what was said. He swallowed. ‘’Sure,’’ he then said,‘’ let’s go.’’ His nervous demeanor didn’t go unnoticed and yet again, Zelda kept silent. She simply didn’t know how to approach the situation. One day she should confront him about it, but not now. They needed to get to Zora’s Domain first.

____

That proved a struggle. The two Hylians were faced with the monsters still lurking the roads. Link worked hard to get rid of them all, energy spent when they arrived at the Domain. He simply didn’t show it. ‘’My dear friend! You did it!!’’ the voice of Sidon carried through the open space. A tired smile was the reply. ‘’Princess, I am so glad you have returned to us. Please, let’s go to my father. He’ll be thrilled to hear about your return,’’ Sidon said. ‘’That’s what I came for,’’ Zelda said. ‘’And please, call me Zelda.’’

That took Sidon off guard for a moment, but he quickly regained his bearings. ‘’Very well, Zelda, shall we go?’’ Zelda nodded to that and she followed the tall Zora to the throne. 

Link walked a few paces after them, but got distracted by the statue in the middle of the domain… Mipha’s statue… The memory of them on top of Vah Ruta played in his mind. She would heal his physical scars. But no amount of healing magic, food or any other healing item could rid him of the mental scars. ‘’Link?’’ Sidon’s voice brought him back to reality. ‘’Are you okay, my friend? You look really tired,’’ the Zora prince said. ‘’Just a lot on my mind, nothing major,’’ Link said. ‘’Are you sure? You really look like you-’’ 

‘’I said I’m  _ FINE!  _ Fucking hell! Can no one let me be for one moment?!’’ Link stormed off. Despite being in the open space, it felt all too small. 

It made him sick. 

The pillars seemed to move in closer.  _ Attacking.  _

_ ‘’Link?!’’ _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't get any better

Zelda in discussion with king Dorephan and his council Muzu. They had already agreed on helping with the rebuilding of Hyrule. Sidon didn't go with her as he wanted to catch up with Link, which was understandable. 

"Now we have everything done, how are you faring, princess?" Dorephan asked, his voice deep and friendly. "I'm doing quite alright," Zelda said.

"And how is Link? The boy worked hard to get you out of there." 

Zelda hesitated on replying. "He- he has seen better days, to put it lightly," she said, mentally face-palming herself for the way it came out. Dorephan let out a defeated sigh. "As expected. The Domain holds many memories for him, he just doesn't remember them yet. I do hope it returns to him, but only time will tell," the king said. Zelda nodded. 

____

Without even thinking, Link had backed himself up against Mipha's statue, her ever loving smile looking down on him.

"Link?" 

That was Sidon's voice. He heard him, but his vision was dark. The only thing he saw were vague flashes, scraps of memory that he couldn't place. They weren't coherent and how hard Link tried, he couldn't hold on to them. 

They hit him. Attacking his mind. Flash after flash. It held him down, weighing on his already heavy limbs. 

Sidon didn't know what happened exactly. One moment he was being yelled at and in the next moment he saw Link backing up and standing against Mipha's statue. The red Zora was confused. There was nothing he could see that had this effect on his friend. 

"Link?" 

His voice came out more nervous than he had thought. Slowly he stepped closer but his movements were not registered, something that concerned him. He had no clue what to do. 

The invisible weight that Link felt, forced him to the ground. He still saw nothing and it scared him. He felt his heart beating uncharacteristically fast to the point where it _hurt._

Two large hands rested on his shoulders, which made the weight even stronger. 

For the second time he heard the same voice. Concerned. _Worried._

Sidon was frantically trying to find anything to help Link, but his attempts were proven fruitless. He couldn't do anything but get help from someone else. The moment he got up to get help, Link lost the fight to whatever it was that held him captive. With a heavy sigh he slumped over. 

____

Zelda just finished her meeting with the Zora King and was now on the hunt for Link and Sidon. _They probably are somewhere talking_ , her first thought was. A few children were playing around and the guards stood their posts. But no sign of the two men she was looking for. 

"Princess Zelda," a voice brought her out of her thoughts. Turning around, she was met with Bazz, one of the few friends of Link. He looked frantic, as if something had happened. "Is something wrong?" she asked. "Prince Sidon needs you at the infirmary," Bazz replied," something with Link." 

The last words sent Zelda sprinting for the infirmary. Sidon stood outside, pacing nervously. Throwing all formalities out of the window, she yelled his name. "I got sent here by Bazz. What happened?" Her brain ran a mile a minute, trying to find out the answer. "Honestly, I don't know myself," Sidon said," he just stopped responding, kept staring at nothing and fell over." The words came in like a bolt of lightning. Something was definitely amiss with her knight and she needed answers. Pushing past Sidon, she entered the infirmary. 

Link woke up to blue. A lot of blue. Different shades of blue. For a moment his mind registered that he was in the Shrine of Resurrection but soon it was clear that these were the tiles of Zora’s Domain. The initial panic subsided and he took a moment to look around. To his left he saw the door that led outside and the room itself - from what he could see - was simple. 

The door opened and a healer walked in with Zelda behind him. He sat up. ‘’I’m glad to see you awake, you had us worried,’’ the healer said. His voice was gruff but not too deep. Link didn’t really remember what had happened. The healer caught onto this. ‘’My name is Frano, I am the head of the healers,’’ Frano said. Link only nodded. He couldn't really say anything. ‘’How are you feeling?’’ Frano asked. ‘’Confused.,’’ was the first thing that came to the blonde’s mind. ‘’Prince Sidon brought you in,’’ Frano explained. _Sidon?_ Link looked at the ground, trying to collect his thoughts and remember what had happened but it evaded him. This confused him even more. "Do you remember anything?" Frano asked. Link shook his head. He couldn't remember if he had these memory problems before the shrine as well or that they surfaced after he had gotten amnesia. 

"Do you drink?" 

Link looked up. "Drink?" 

"Yes, yes he does" Zelda answered for him. Her eyes bored into his. "How much?" Frano asked. "I-" Link didn't know how to answer this. Should he lie? Tell the truth? Zelda’s cold stare really didn’t help with his decisions. ‘’I’m fine,’’ he eventually said, hardening his stare, directing it at Zelda.

‘’You don’t need to worry about me. I think it was a just a memory and-’’

‘’Really? Because I’ve seen something different!’’

‘’So a man can’t have a drink every once in a while?’’ Link noticed that he raised his voice, but he didn’t care. ‘’So Purah lied when she told me she found you unresponsive in your house after you had too much to drink!?’’ Zelda yelled. 

‘’ _Are you trying to kill yourself!?’’_

Silence was never so deafening than after those words were screamed. Zelda regretted what she did, but she couldn’t undo it. The damage had been done.

_____

Sidon heard the yelling inside and next the door flew open and a seething Link walked out. 

‘’Link?’’ 

‘’Leave me the _fuck_ alone!’’ the Hylian yelled and walked away… again. Sidon was even more confused. He had no clue what had happened in there and he needed answers. Just as he turned around, Zelda came running out. ‘’What happened?’’ Sidon asked. ‘’I fucked it up!’’ Zelda said, angry. ‘’Let’s go somewhere quiet and talk about this,’’ Sidon offered and Zelda complied.

Link unleashed his anger on the trees. Leaves fell down and stuck in his hair, making it even more disheveled than it already was. No tree was left untouched and soon almost a whole forest was cut down. Several swords had suffered the same fate his mind had; broken into pieces. 

‘’Fuck you, Zelda!’’ he screamed at a random rock on the ground. "I know you think I have a problem, but I don't!" he continued yelling. Everything he wanted to say to the girl was coming out in unspeakable rage. Everything that had happened boiled over and came out like a raging river. 

He'd never felt such emotional outburst which made it even more difficult. 

_I need a fucking drink._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link has his inner battle.
> 
> Zelda finds out more after an investigation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW BIG TW FOR MENTIONS OF ADDICTION AND ALCOHOL ABUSE
> 
> AND! 
> 
> Gotta give BIG BIG thanks to:
> 
> Dragon_of_Dreams
> 
> And
> 
> Mochibun 
> 
> For helping me with this chapter! They both have done amazingly and you guys should totally check out their works! They're amazing writers and deserve the recognition! Show them some love!! 
> 
> NOW ENJOY THE STORY! PLEASE COMMENT AND SHOW YOUR THOUGHTS!

"I'm afraid." 

Sidon and Zelda sat in Sidon's study, reflecting on what happened. ‘’I’m afraid he will do something to himself,’’ Zelda said. These words send Sidon on immediate alert. ‘’What do you mean by that?’’ he asked. ‘’I don’t know. I need to keep an eye on him. And need to find out if that drinking he does… isn’t an actual problem,’’ Zelda mused. ‘’Drinking? As in alcohol?’’ Sidon asked, feeling his fear rise. ‘’Yes. Apparently he drinks to the point of passing out. Have you ever encountered that?’’ she then asked. Sidon meekly shakes his head. ‘’Not that I can remember. The few times he was here, I rarely saw him. He appeased Vah Ruta, but overall he was either on the road or sleeping….’’ Sidon’s voice died down. Something seemed to have hit him. "Sidon?" Zelda looked at the Zora prince, who looked in the distance with a shocked expression. 

Sidon didn't hear Zelda saying his name. His mind was rewinding to a memory. An event that happened weeks before, but was pushed back due to his busy schedule. 

~~~~~~~

_ Zora's Domain was silent after Vah Ruta was appeased. Sidon looked over at the playing children around Mipha's statue. It was peaceful and he couldn't wait for Link to return to properly thank him. _

_ That moment came sooner than expected when a figure walked on the bridge in his direction. However, on closer inspection, that figure seemed to have trouble keeping balance. Walking down the stairs, it became more clear to the prince who this figure was.  _

_ Link.  _

_ He now started to run.  _ Did something happen?,  _ he thought. Fear gripped around his heart, squeezing it like a ball. Link practically fell in his arms when Sidon closed distance and stood in front of the hero. "My friend, did something happen?" he asked. Link didn't react. He just hung limp in Sidon's arms. Alarmed, he picked up his friend and almost ran to the healers.  _

_ "Someone please help!" he yelled, fearing for Link's life. This had never happened before and it scared him. Sidon knew he was looked at but he didn't care, he couldn't be the one to let the only person die who could save them. As selfish as it sounded, Link was the key to safety.  _

_ Frano was the first one to react to Sidon's call for help. Upon seeing the prince with the Hylian in his arms he sprung into action. "What happened?" was the first question that left the Zora's lips. "I don't know, he just stumbled in and fell over," Sidon said. Frano directed the prince to the empty in one of the separate rooms. "Lay him down, I'll see what I can do," the healer said. Sidon nodded. Upon making the movement, Link stirred. Sidon held his breath and just looked but Link did not wake up. Carefully, Sidon placed his friend on the bed. He hoped nothing was amiss, but he knew in all the times that Link came to the domain, he never was this out of it.  _

_ "So he stumbled in. Did you get the chance to ask if something had happened?" Frano asked, walking in with a number of supplies. "I did, _ but he -  _ he just fell over," Sidon said. A hum was the reaction to this. "Did he say anything?" was the next question. Sidon shook his head. "No. Like I said, he just - I don't know… dropped."  _

_ Frano nodded. His silence didn't make Sidon any less nervous. Frano stepped forward and bent over the sleeping/unconscious hero. "Master Link," he said, voice loud and clear. He lightly slapped Link's cheek to try and rouse him. When no reaction came he tried again. "Master Link, are you okay?" The question sounded odd to Sidon. Obviously Link wasn't okay, but didn't say that out loud. Frano knew what he did and he trusted the man.  _

_ It took a few tries, but Link finally reacted… Just not in the way Sidon had hoped. First Link's eyes darted around the room clearly trying to find out where he had ended up. His mannerism was all over the place and it concerned both Frano and Sidon. "Master Link, can you tell me where you are?" he asked. Frano studied Link's face; nothing seemed wrong, but it still didn't explain the unfocused look in the man's eyes. "Hylia," Link then said. His words came out slowly and Sidon looked at the healer with fear.  _

_ Link giggled. Sidon had no clue what was going on and he was concerned for his friend's well-being. Gradually, the giggles went over to laughing and then ended up in crying.  _

_ Soon, that died down too and Link was out like a light again. "He'll be fine," were the words of the healer. "How do you know?" Sidon asked.  _

_ ~~~~~~~ _

"So Frano knew?" Zelda asked after Sidon came back to reality and had told her the story. "I don't know if he did. I guess it just slipped out of my mind because of how busy I am," Sidon said. "So… Why did he ask Link if he was drinking when he knew?" Zelda didn't follow the logic anymore. "I don't know," Sidon said, "but I trust him." 

______

Link had returned to the Domain and retreated to his room that was given to him to stay the night. He didn't want to see anyone. Not Sidon, not zelda and certainly not Frano. No scrap that, he didn't want to see Zelda. He was still angry with her and seeing her would only make things worse. 

So he sat there. Alone. "You'll be fine. You can do this," he told himself. He tried to sound certain of himself, but felt everything slipping away; out of reach and leaving him with the emptiness and the pain. Especially the aching in his head; the  _ hangovers _ . The bane of his existence. And despite that, he longed for the darkness that took over and eliminated the ever present pain. He looked over to a specific spot in the room; the spot where his stash was. Slowly he stood up taking hesitant steps toward that one thing that could help him not feel and feel everything at the same time. Just one wouldn't hurt, right? Yeah. It would make everything easier. It would make it all less bright and upfront. He had a good tolerance, only a few. He could still do his job. They wouldn’t notice. It would make him forget.

Forget.

He knew that concept. Forgetting. Forgetting how well he was in hiding his emotions. Forgetting the everlasting pressure that was pushing him down. 

Forgettingforgettingforgettingforgettingforgettingforgetting-

His hand had already wrapped round the bottle. Just. One. 

_ NO!  _

He sucked in a breath. "You can do this," he said again…

If only he didn’t feel like he was fighting a losing battle.

____

Zelda had more answers than questions after her talk with Sidon. She still needed the clear answer whether or not her knight was grappling with an addiction. His behavior was either negative or all over the place. It worried her and she decided to end her investigation with Frano. As if Hylia herself had heard her, the healer in question bumped into her. "Oh princess, I'm sorry! I didn't see you," the Zora said. "It's fine, Frano. I was just looking for you," Zelda said.

"Me?" 

"I have my concerns," Zelda said. Her eyes wandered off to the ground. "This is about Master Link, isn't it?" Frano asked. Zelda simply nodded. "I figured. He's a secretive man. The day prince Sidon came in with him, I did not know what I was encountering," Frano said. "And upon further inspection into his behavior, I saw what I had read about during my time as a scholar. So I did my research," Frano explained. Zelda nodded, actively listening and taking in every word the man said. "There was an article about soldiers after war and how some of them would turn to drinking." Frano said. "But Link.. He died. He came out of the Shrine of Resurrection with  _ no  _ memories," Zelda said. "Do you.. Do you think it has affected him this negatively that he had to find a way to cope?" Her question scared her, but she needed to know. "I'm afraid so, princess," Frano said. 

There was a pregnant silence. Zeld thought back to the moment she and Link reunited. How lost he looked and his gaze was so far away, like he wasn't there mentally. And then the moment she found him, her talk with Purah and Sidon. And now the one who knows more about Hylian biology and behavior. 

It all confirmed it to her. 

"Do you have anything that could help me help him?" 

Her mind was set. 

_ She had a knight to save. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Zelda travel to Goron City

The time had come for Link and Zelda to travel further. Link had prepared their stuff and waited for Zelda to finish up. He stood alone with the horses when Sidon approached him. 

"How are you feeling today?" 

Link just shrugged. "Tired," he said. He would not tell his friend that he was struggling, barely slept and almost lost his battle. But he persevered and pushed on. He knew today was going to be hell, but he tried. He had been trying for weeks, but every time he would relapse and be back at square one. 

"Yesterday was a tough day for you, I saw that. But I believe in you, my friend," Sidon said. Link tried to smile, but his mind was too occupied on how to survive the day sober, all he could muster was a forced one. He felt like crying. He wanted to disappear into the ground. 

_ Sidon doesn't deserve me. I'm nothing but a failure! _

"Link, are you ready to go?" Zelda's voice brought him out of his vicious cycle and nodded. The movement made his stomach turn, so he took a deep breath to stifle nausea. He couldn't tell at this point if it was anxiety or being sober for almost a whole night. Probably both. 

Zelda said her goodbyes to Sidon and on the road they went. 

____

"I really don't like going to Death Mountain. It's so hot. Always!" Zelda said. They'd arrived at Death Mountain within hours after using the fast travel option on the slate. "That's because it is a volcano, Zelda," Link said. He hoped the pain in his voice wasn't noticeable. Even though Zelda had a relatively soft voice, it now felt like he was getting hit with bricks. The nausea didn't make it any better. "I know that. But that doesn't mean I have to like it," Zelda bit back, a bit harsher than she intended. 

Silence fell. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay." Link bit his tongue, wanting to say more but refrained. He would regret what he would say, adding to the list of regrets that only grew. 

Zelda let out a deep sigh and looked over to her knight.  _ How am I supposed to help you?, _ she thought,  _ if you won't admit that you have a problem?  _

_ I see you looking at me. Why are you so careful around me?  _ Link had noticed the glances Zelda gave him. He couldn't really tell what those meant and frankly, his mind couldn't care less about that. 

**_"Do you really intend on going this long without a drink?"_ ** __

_ Shut up! Zelda needs me,  _ Link thought. 

The nasty voice was persistent. 

**_"I know you want it! I know you long for it and you suffer only more if you don't."_ **

Link felt his anxiety spike. And now he had no way of getting rid of it. It clawed at him, screaming, threatening to take over his entire being. Squeezing his heart and lungs, turning his stomach. 

Before he could even call out to Zelda, his stomach lurched one more time and he found himself running to the side of the path and throwing up what little he had eaten. 

Zelda turned around when she heard footsteps and gagging sounds. "Link? Are you okay?" she asked, when she saw her knight bent over some rocks. A thumbs-up was the reaction. "I'm fine," came after that. Zelda didn't believe any of it and stepped closer. "You know you don't have to lie to me," she said. 

Link knew this, but he didn't want to be the cause of them slowing down. So he steeled himself and ignored the rapid pounding of his heart that almost makes it feel like it would jump out of his chest, breaking his ribs. Goddess, this was killing!

_ I can't do this!I can't do this!I can't do this!I can't do this!I can't do this!  _

It was like a mantra that drummed in his head over and over again, no sign of stopping, no sign of slowing down. 

_ I'm going to die! Goingtodiegoingtodiegoingtodie!! _

_ Why am I freaking out? Why am I like this? _

He had squeezed his eyes shut and tried to get back to the mindset he had a few hours before, but it proved difficult. 

"You can do this." 

_ Zelda.  _

Her voice cut through the line of thoughts like a hot knife through butter. His hands had clenched into fists, shaking. He opened his eyes and looked in the concerned yet caring face of his princess. She said something else, but that was lost to him. His only focus was her eyes.

_ Green. _

_ Green, like a forest in spring and summer. _

_ Green, like the heroes of old. _

_ Green, like the bottle that calls his name. _

‘’You’re slipping, Link. Get your shit together,’’ He said. New panic shot through his body;  _ he had said those words out loud! _

Zelda saw the moment of panic happening. ‘’You can do this,’’ she said again. She didn’t know what else to say. Link only nodded, relaxing a little bit. ‘’We should continue,’’ he said, already starting to walk. ‘’Are you sure you’re good to go?’’ Zelda asked.  _ Are you really okay? Are you really ready to tell me the truth and not have me guessing for ghosts? _

‘’Yes.’’

‘’If you say so.’’   
____

Reaching Goron City went without any more trouble, despite the heat. ‘’When we are there, we need to get you armor to protect you better from this heat,’’ Link said. His voice startled Zelda after he had been silent for most of the hike. “That would be a wise idea,” she said. 

Silence. 

They entered the town and several heads turned to the pair. “Master Link!” a voice tore through the crowd and Yunobo came into view. Link mustered a smile that seemed convincing and greeted the young Goron. 

Zelda was distracted by the sudden switch of mood and almost didn't catch what Link said. He was introducing her to the yellow Goron in front of her. 

“Princess?” 

It was the Goron. Zelda looked up. “Please, I'm not a princess anymore. Call me Zelda,” she said. “I'm here to talk to your leader.” 

To that Yunobo nodded and led the two Hylians to Bludo. The big Goron stood at his usual spot; in front of his house. 

Zelda occasionally glanced at her knight. The mood swings became more and more apparent and she knew he was pulling up an act to make sure that no one knew what was going on.  _ Damn you, Link!,  _ she thought. But her focus was taken off him and onto Bludo. 

"Princess Zelda, it's an honor to have you here. I want to thank you for saving Hyrule," Bludo said, causing Zelda to go red even more than she already was. "Link did most of the work," she said. To that, Link looked at her and uttered "I didn't hold the Calamity back for 100 years!". 

"But you did do everything to come back to me," Zelda reacted. 

Link had no comebacks to that. 

__

Bludo decided that he would hear out Zelda and then have a celebration. The Gorons loved holding simple celebrations just for the hell off it, but this time it was special. 

Link decided to not attend the meeting between the princess and the Goron leader. He felt out of place and Zelda was safe within the walls of Goron city. So he went to one of the shops to get the armor he had promised to get Zelda. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but it worked. 

While getting ready to pay, a hand on his shoulder startled him so much, he dropped his bag of rupees, gemstones falling to the ground. Turning around, he saw Yunobo standing. "Goddess, you scared the hell out of me!" Link said without thinking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," the equally scared Goron said. 

_ Way to go, Link, you absolute idiot! _

Link composed himself and started to pick up the fallen gemstones. "It's okay. I was just lost in thought," he said in an attempt to soothe the anxiety the other felt. "Are you sure?" Yunobo asked, helping the Hylian. "I'm fine, Yunobo, don't worry," Link said. 

Yunobo seemed unconvinced, but Link managed to flash him a smile.  _ Goddess, smite me and drown me in alcohol,  _ he thought. 

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay?" the Goron at the counter suddenly said, pulling Link out of his daze. "Yeah." 

Oh, how much of a lie that was. 

____

Zelda came out of the meeting with more positive news. Bludo had agreed to help and it felt like more weight had lifted off her shoulders. Looking for Link, she found him near the armor shop. "I got you the armor. You can go to the shrine to change, if you want," Link said. 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

Silence swept over the two. "No really. Thank you. For everything," Zelda said. "You've done so much for me and I actually never gave you the proper credit for it." Link didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to say that he hardly did anything. That she was the one who held a dark entity at bay for 100 years. But the words didn't come out, so he stayed silent." You're welcome, " he said, yet again. 

_ If only you knew how much it kills me. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gorons are hosting a small party... Goron style.
> 
> Link's problems rise the peak of disaster and Zelda is taking desperate mesures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course the trigger warning is back.
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is somewhat short. I wrote this on 4 hours of sleep jfbfndxhbxxb

Zelda was still surprised at the amount Gorons could eat. Bludo had insisted on giving at least a small party, just because it was a special occasion.  _ Small.  _

Small was the understatement of the century. Link couldn't remember - obviously - the last time he had seen so much food in one place. It made him suddenly very self conscious. "Are you not gonna eat?" Yunobo said. These words had Zelda looking up from her plate as if Link had pulled out several red flags. 

"I am," he said, and filled his plate with some food the Gorons had managed to get, as they knew Hylians didn't eat rocks. However, Link felt like he had swallowed a boulder and it sat heavy on his stomach and Zelda's eyes on him didn't help. 

"You're not getting sick, are you?" Bludo had caught up on Link's behavior and looked at him with concern. "Maybe, I don't know," Link managed to utter. He felt hot, and not only because of the heat of Death Mountain. He felt cold, which was nearly impossible for where they were and his stomach has done nothing but flips. Goosebumps had spread around his body. 

Now all eyes were on him. Something he absolutely hated. "Excuse me," he said, standing up and left. 

Zelda was about to stand up, but Bludo stopped her. "He will return, princess," he said. Zelda reluctantly sat back down. Her mind then went to that night in Hateno and bolted in the direction she thought Link had gone. Goron City wasn't big, but Link was an expert in hiding. "Please. Please, be at the inn or something," she said more to herself than to anyone else. 

She found him lying on the bed he had paid for. At first glance it looked like he was just sleeping. 

"Here you are!" Zelda said, stepping closer. She didn't get a reaction. 

"Link?" 

Slowly she walked closer. It dawned on her that her knight wasn't sleeping. He was trembling like a leaf on a breezy autumn day. "What's wrong?" she asked. There was hardly a reaction, other than the harsh breathing that filled the room. Zelda had no clue what caused this and she tracked her memory to think of any possibility. 

_ Something he ate? No, I haven't seen him touch the food. _

That was also a thing that rattled her. But she didn't mull on it for long. 

"Princess?" Yunobo stood in the entrance of the inn. "Is everything okay?" Zelda shook her head. "I don't know what's happening," she said. She knew she was panicking and the heat of the mountain itself made it hard to determine if her knight had fallen ill with a mysterious illness. His core temperature would already be high, despite the armor that would protect him from getting set ablaze. 

"I need to get him out of here," she determined. "Please, Inform your Chief that we have to leave right now." A small nod was the Goron's reaction and he was on his way. 

Zelda then took care of their stuff. It wasn't much and she knew they had to come back later to get their horses. She was blessed that she had asked Purah to update the Sheikah slate so they could teleport together. 

For a second she reconsidered her decision. _It wouldn't be dangerous right?_ She didn't know how fast travel would affect a sick person, but she had to take that risk. She would come back later and apologize to Bludo for the sudden departure. 

She held Link's hand and pressed the travel button that rested on Kakariko Village. 

For this, she needed Impa. 

___

Kakariko was silent. Dorian stoot guard on his usual spot in front of Impa's house. The painter was back in town, concentrating on his work while Koko was running around, looking for someone to help her cook.

Paya was praying at the Goddess statue, when a blue light appeared from the shrine. Dorian didn't need to see who it was, as the only two people able to teleport were the princess and her knight. 

The silence was interrupted by a yell. A feminin yell. The princess! Dorian ran to the shrine where he suspected the scream came from. Paya had also gotten up and ran to the source. Both Sheikah were soon met with a distraught princess Zelda in steel armor. The same armor their hero wore who was lying with his head in her lap. 

"Please, help me," Zelda said desperately. Dorian didn’t hesitate to her plea and started moving. "Paya, go to Lady Impa and tell her what happened. I'm taking them to the inn," he said. Paya nodded and ran to her grandmother. Dorian helped Zelda with getting Link to the inn and out of the armor. 

"What happened?" he asked. "I don't know. He just excused himself and I found him in the inn, shaking like a leaf," Zelda explained. 

"You didn't see any other strange occurrence?" 

Zelda had to think on that one. "I remember him feeling sick. He threw up, but after that I haven't seen him that much because I was in a meeting." 

Dorian nodded. He looked at the still shivering hero on the bed. Taking in the features of Link, he tried to put together what was ailing him; he felt warm, and a sheen of sweat had covered his face, that had an ashen color. 

Dorian was struck with a memory. He had seen this before. "Princess, if you don't mind me asking. How have you two been since you left the village?" he asked. Zelda was not prepared for that question. "What do you mean?" she asked. She remembered how Dorian had helped Link when he panicked. But they indeed hadn't spoken afterwards. 

"It was turbulent. He hasn't been himself at all. I caught him drunk in his own home and found out it wasn't the first time," she said. "Why?" The follow-up question was. 

"When was the last time he had anything to drink? Alcohol wise." 

"I- I don't know. A day? A little bit less? I haven't been able to keep track of the time." 

Dorian nodded. His suspicions were correct. 

"Alcohol withdrawal." 

Zelda blinked hard a few times to be sure she had heard that correctly. "What?" she then asked. 

"When I was younger, a friend of mine couldn't stop drinking. They said he was addicted to the point that he couldn't function normally without having a drink. It destroyed everything. Him, his relationships. Everything."

"Why are you telling me this?" Zelda didn't know or didn't  _ want  _ to know what Dorian was aiming at. "Because this is what I saw when he didn't have a drink for over a few hours. Zelda, your knight has a problem and he needs help," Dorian said. The way he used her name, made Zelda realize that this was serious. She knew already that there was more after her talk with the Zora healer and Sidon, but this confirmed it even more. 

___

Link felt like he was swinging but not moving. Drifting, but not sinking, nor floating. Drowning, but not dying. 

Concept of time was lost to him. How long had he been there? In that void? He didn't know. Fleeting moments of clarity and agony were soon lost, too. Swept away in the wind. 

After what felt like another 100 years, Link finally regained his bearings. A blonde head was the first thing in his line of sight. Zelda. He tried to clear his throat but it felt like he swallowed sand. Zelda was asleep, it was dark outside. He felt tired and horrible. Both physically and mentally. "M-Master Link!" a voice drew his attention away from Zelda. Paya stood in the doorway. Her words had woken up Zelda. She looked up and had to blink before her mind caught up to what she saw. 

"Goddess, thank you!" she said. Link furrowed his brow in confusion. What had happened? Zelda saw the confusing and let out a deep sigh. "I thought you were gonna die," she said. 

"Die?" he managed to ask and was surprised by his own voice; scratchy from the lack of use. He still felt tired, but he wanted to know what had happened and how long he had been out of it. 

"Link, I'm gonna be honest with you."

A nod. 

"You need help."

_ A nod, again.  _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment of weakness ends in an dire situation. 
> 
> Zelda and Purah travel back to Kakariko.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: SELF HARM

The next day, Zelda traveled to Hateno Village. She needed to speak with Purah about looking into options to help Link. 

Dorian took it upon him to keep an eye on the knight as it was apparent that Link had been acting strange. 

Stranger than he had before. The so-called 'Cold Turkey' sobering did work, but only to an extent. It didn't mean the knight was cured. It was far from it, but it was a start. Impa had ordered to search Link's stuff for any left-over alcohol he might have on his person. 

Link felt like everything was slipping. He finally thought he had some control over his own life, only for it to be stripped away. 

Now he sat alone in the room he had woken up in.

_**Do you think you will win this fight?** _

That voice. He had hoped it had gone away, but it was as persistent as a fresh stabwound. Only this one wouldn't heal.

They took the one thing away. Do you really think you can live in this clarity?

_Please, go away!_

Huddled in the corner of the room, Link felt the need to search everything. Anything that the Sheikah might had forgotten.

Anything that would lessen the intense feeling he had. He couldn't even pinpoint which ones he felt; it was all muddled together. 

Link felt himself slipping again. 

_You can't do this! The voice is right! You will not win this!_

_Failure.. Failure! Failure!Failure!Failure!FAILURE!_

Standing up, he started pacing around the room for a bit and then started his search. _Please, there has to be something! Anything!_

Frantically he looked in every drawer, threw the mattress off the bed, searched under it.

No spot was left untouched and his anger boiled. Like the hot, angry magma of Death Mountain.

A lone vase was the victim to the knights rage and was thrown agains the wooden wall.

"Is this how you punish me, Hylia? Is this funny to you? Do you enjoy this? Because I certainly _DON'T_!"

The vase was now lying in pieces on the floor, leftover water seeping into the wooden floor.

When the initial anger had subsided, Link stared at the shards.

_**I know you want it.** _

_"I don't."_

_**But you do. You know it's the only way. This is all your fault. You let it come this far.** _

Link slowly walked over to the broken vase.

____

Dorian had taken a moment to collect himself. The last few hours had been daunting.

Goddess was he stupid to leave for only a minute.

The owner of the in came to him in fear. "Dorian! Please, I don't know what is happening but something is amiss!"

A moment of silence.

"I heard Master Link yelling and I heard a bunch of noise, but right now it's silent... I don't trust this!"

Dorian didn't hesitate and bolted up the stairs. 

The door was closed and Dorian didn't give one fuck if he broke it. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

So he kicked at the door as hard as possible until it gave way with a loud crack.

The room was a mess, but that was the least of his worries. Against the wall sat Link, a shard of the broken vase that was lying in the middle of the place in his hand.

The sight was nothing short of a horror scene; both arms were littered with fresh cuts.

"Hylia, no!"

Dorian ran to the knight who wasn't even aware someone had entered.

"Fuck. Link, why would you do this?!" Dorian yelled. 

"Jusletmego-" was the slurred response. Dorian knew panic was not the way to go, but he was scared.

He couldn't leave Link, so he took it upon himself to take him to Impa.

____

Paya was outside on the porch when she heard yelling. The owner of the inn looked terrified , but she couldn't exactly hear what was said.

Until she looked up and saw Dorain run in her direction with none other than Master Link in his arms. "Paya, open the door! I need help!" she was told.

"Oh, Goddess! W-what h-happened?!"

Dorian ignored her question and once again told her to open the door. She did.

Impa heard the yelling outside and did not expect Dorian to barge in with a limp Link in his arms. 

"Lady Impa, please help!"

"Bring him upstairs," Impa said. "Paya, get the medkit." Paya scrambled to get the requested item and Dorian brought Link upstairs to Paya her room. 

"What happened?" Impa asked as Dorain placed Link on the bed. "He trashed the room. But that can be replaced. I found him like this," Dorian said, showing both of Link's arms. "I stepped away for only a little bit, knowing everything was gone," he said. "I hadn't anticipated he would turn to this."

Paya came upstairs shortly with the medkit. "Grandmother, what happened?" she asked in shock, when she laid eyes on Link. "I'll explain later l, please tend to him. Zelda needs to know this as soon as she is back," Impa said. Paya nodded and went to work. 

____

"I need to see him," Purah said. Zelda nodded. She had told the scientist everything that had happened. "I can't do anything without an assessment." Purah started to grab her stuff that she needed. It was more Sheikah technology. She had seen Link numerous times and every time she got worried more and more. 

"I'm ready," she said. Zelda had to stifle her laughter at the tiny woman; her bag was way too big for her, which made her even smaller. "I know it's hilarious, Zelly, but we have to go," Purah said. Zelda nodded and grabbed the slate. 

____

Back in Kakariko, everything seemed silent, but Zelda didn't care for that. She wanted to see Link. She had taken over Purah's bag after she fell over when they landed on the shrine.

"First I need to see my sister," Purah said. "I haven't seen her in forever and I bet she doesn't know that I look like this." Zelda already saw Impa's face in front of her and it made her giggle. 

___

_"I know you blame yourself, Dorian, but no one could foresee this."_

Zelda picked up these words when she and Purah neared the front door of the house. Fear bubbled to the surface. "Something must've happened," she said and ran the rest of the way up. 

She opened the door and was met with a clearly distressed Dorian and Impa sitting on her usual spot. "Zelda, I'm glad you're back," Impa said. "We need to talk." The way the Sheikah elder talked was enough to know something had happened to Link. "What happened?" Purah asked, entering the house. 

"Purah.. What happened to you?" Impa asked. "A failed experiment," was Purah's simple reply. "I'm here for Link. What happened?" 

"Link is upstairs. Paya is tending to him as we speak." The words barely passed the elder's lips or Zelda ran up the stairs.

And indeed, Paya was tending to Link who seemingly did not even notice she was doing anything. Zelda let her eyes wander over the unmoving body and her eyes landed on the bandaged arms. 

"Oh, Goddess! Paya, what happened?" she asked. "I don't really know. Dorian came in here with Link. He apparently hurt himself severely," Paya explained. "H-hurt himself? How?" Zelda wanted to know everything. "That I don't know.. I'm sorry, princess," Paya said. 

___

Purah sat downstairs, talking to Impa and Dorian about what had happened. "I should have stayed," Dorian said for the umpteenth time. "Listen, Dorian, you didn't know," Purah said. "Now that this has happened, I am gonna talk to him and see what I can do." Purah was the only one of the scientists who also specialized in psychology. She was determined to get to the bottom of these events. 

___

Link woke up to soft talking. Two women, he registered. He then felt the pain. Both his arms felt like they were on fire. 

And he welcomed it. He welcomed it like a bottle of Noble Pursuit. "Link?" Zelda. He opened his eyes to meet with a concerned princess. "Goddess, Link, I was so worried," she said. Link simply shook his head, not trusting his voice. "I don't understand! Why?" The question was out there before Zelda could stop herself. 

_"Why would you hurt me like this?"_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda wants to show hwr support.
> 
> A fight leaves Link shell shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. This one is shorter and quite shit.
> 
> Big thanks to @MajesticGaZell for proof reading ths first bot of the fight.
> 
> Go check out their work! They havw amazing stuff!

It had been two days after Zelda had uttered those words and things were tense between her and Link. She knew she was wrong, but he had hurt her. Not intentionally, but it happened and it was enough to let her emotions take over. 

Link didn't speak about what Zelda's words did to him. In fact, he didn't speak at all. Zelda knew she had to apologize. If she were to help him, she needed to do what was right. It didn't take very long for her to find Link as he was set under constant supervision and wasn't allowed out of the village. 

She found him at the foot of the shrine. "Why are you here?" Link asked without looking up. Right, he still had profound hearing and probably recognized her footsteps. "I came to apologize," Zelda said. To this, Link looked up. He still looked awfully pale, but Zelda ignored that for now. 

"I was wrong- wrong to say what I said." 

"No, you were right."

Silence. 

Zelda had not expected this. She sat down next to her friend and decided to listen instead of searching for the future. "I'm selfish, Zelda," were the next words that were uttered. "I was so set on ending it then and there, but Dorian stepped in, because the owner of the inn couldn't shut his mouth-’’

Link’s words struck a nerve within Zelda. ‘’I- I am so sorry that you feel this way, and I am sorry for not being there for you.’’ Link was about to say something when screams came from the entrance of the village. 

‘’Yiga!’’

Link was up in one second, staggered for a moment and then grabbed the Sheikah Slate and summoned a Travelers Sword and ran in the direction of the treath. He ignored his body protesting and Zelda yelling his name. Dorian ran past her, presumably hearing her scream. 

Indeed. Further up, too close to the entrance of the village, was one foot soldier.  _ I can take on this lanky fuck _ , was the first thing Link thought. 

However, he didn't count on the yiga dropping their sword. "You're proficient in sword fights.. How about hand to hand?" the soldier said. Link needed a moment to collect his thoughts. He didn't remember having any training regarding a fight without weapons 

That was all the yiga needed to charge

Link was sent to the ground with one swift movement. Air was rushed from his lungs when he hit the ground back-first. His sword tumbled out of his hands, skidding from his reach.

"Where is your courage now,  _ hero? _ " 

That was answered with a war cry and a swift punch in the face from Link. The mask cracked in several places, and a piece fell off, revealing one eye. The yiga held the mask and Link used that moment to push the soldier off of him. He stumbled to his feet and eyed his opponent who was getting up as well. . "You're gonna regret this," they said and charged again. 

Link was prepaid this time. He saw the fist coming and swiftly moved to the side. Time seemed to slow down and he grabbed the yiga's arm that had aimed for his face. 

Using that momentum, Link pulled on the arm and sent the yiga to the ground face first. Link held the didn't let go of the arm, angled it unnaturally and stood on the yiga's back with one foot. A useless yelp was heard. The yiga was defenseless. 

Or so Link thought. Yiga had teleportation magic and the yiga disappeared from under him. 

Link saw the shadow looming over him, knowing that if he didn't move, his skull would be crushed. So he moved and the yiga hit the ground where the Hylian stood mere seconds ago. 

A second fist was flying into Link's direction and he caught it in his hand, moved around the yiga and managed to get a hold of the head of his opponent. 

"Don't mess with me or anyone," Link whispered and in one smooth move he turned the soldier's head in an angle, snapping it. 

____

Dorian stood and watched the fight happening. He saw a side of Link he hadn't seen yet. The Hylian was quick and light on his feet. 

He just didn't think the hero had it in him to snap someone's neck. He looked at the dead yiga at Link's feet and back to Link who seemed to come back from whatever trance he was in. 

"Oh shit…" 

Those words seemed to bring Dorian out of his own thoughts. Link was frozen in place, staring at the body. Dorian took this as his cue to take the Hylian back to the village. He walked up to Link. "Let's go back."

_____

Zelda had taken it upon her to take care of the villager that had warned them about the yiga. The woman - Paige - sat with her at the shrine, on the spot where Link sat before he took off to fight the yiga. "He's quite the hero, isn't he?" Paige asked. Zelda nodded. "I just wished he would take care of himself more," she replied solemnly. Paige was about to say something when Dorian and Link returned. 

Dorian held Link by his shoulders to keep him steady. The knight had an empty yet horrified look on his face. Zelda figured something in that fight had happened and she was determined to find out. 

Link barely registered where he was. All he saw was that one eye under the broken mask. The feeling of a neck breaking… All by his hands. Killing a yiga clan member with a sword and their mask covering their face was a whole different thing. 

He couldn't stop feeling how the spine would bend and couldn't block out the loud crack that came from it. The single sightless eye was carved in his memory like a painting that was preserved for thousands of years. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a loooong healing process...
> 
> Purah's science creates something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: dissociation

"We can't keep him cooped up here. It takes a toll on him and the village," Purah said. Zelda was surprised at her words. "I know what you think, Zelly, but I can't help him here. I don't have the resources like I have in the lab." Zelda simply nodded. She knew her long-time friend was right. "I guess we need to wait to travel any further until he's able to again," she said. "I think so too," Impa agreed.

"How do we ensure his safety?"

Emerald eyes met red ones. "We're so busy with seeking solutions that we haven't taken the time to tackle the problem," Zelda continued. "I've spoken to him. If Dorian wasn't there.. We could've lost Link."

Impa let out a sigh. "You're right. Purah and I will talk to Link," she said. 

___

The thing was, Link was awake and moving, his mind just didn't register any of the information. Everything went on autopilot. Later he would not remember what had happened or what he did. 

Dorian stayed quiet, not wanting to bring up the conversation in fear of the reaction he would get. 

Footsteps brought him out of the internal war and looked up to see none other than the princess. "Princess, how did it go?" he asked, knowing what the meeting was about. "It went okay. Impa and Purah want to talk to Link."

Despite that, Link got up and followed his princess, like he always did. He felt like his mind was split in two. One half following commands, the other still in the fight.

He must've zoned out more, because before he could comprehend it, he sat in front of the two Sheikah sisters.

Two pairs of red eyes looked at him in concern. Impa spoke up. 

"Link, do you know why we summoned you here?"

_ No.  _

"We are worried for your well-being."

"I'm fine," was Link's reply.

_ I can still feel their neck shift and break. _

"I know what that fight did to you."

_ No, you don't. _ Link felt himself slip again, but a small hand pulled him back into reality; a place he didn't want to be.

Purah saw Link staring into space, essentially letting his consciousness slip. She walked toward him and put a hand on his leg. The small gesture was enough for the blonde to snap up and look at her with confusion.

"Link, do you know where you are?"

At first, Purah was afraid the question didn't reach but soon a soft "don't know" was heard.

Impa looked at her sister in alarm, but Purah already knew what was happening. She walked to her bag that was placed in the corner of the room and started searching through it. "It has to be somewhere," she said, while throwing out several items, some clanking loudly on the wooden floor.

Soon an "aha!" sounded and she turned back to Link, who was yet again, back in his state of trance.

"Link, could you hold this for me?" she asked. In her hands she had a piece of multi-colored cloth. She placed it in Link's hands and again it pulled him back just a little. With the same confused look, he stared at the object in his hands. "I want you to look at it. Tell me what you see," Purah said.

It took a lot of concentration to focus on the piece of fabric. "It-it is cloth," he said, still unsure if this was real or in his mind.

"Can you tell me what it feels like?"

"Soft."

Purah studied Link's face and saw the vacant look slowly disappear.

"Can you tell me the colors you see?"

While Link named the colors, Impa looked intently at the interaction. Her older sister always had much energy, but seeing her like this, made him realize that despite the small body and childlike expressions, she knew what she was doing.

Link finally was aware of his surroundings. As expected he couldn't remember very much of any interactions of half the day, but that didn't matter.

What he did want to know whas the reason why he was zoning out so much. Why he had hours missing in his days.

"I've read old records of people missing hours or even days. Back then, they didn't really know what it was. But over the past 100 years, more studies have been done. Mainly by me," Purah explained, her enthusiasm in being a scholar returning.

"Does it have a name?" Zelda asked, who sat in the room quietly, observing.

"Yes. They call it dissociation. His brain is protecting him from the trauma he's experienced."

Link looked back at the piece of cloth in his hands.

Such a simple thing, and it brought him back to reality.

"Brains are weird, I tell you that," Purah said.

"Just like me," Link unexpectedly said.

This made Zelda look and a snort escaped. "Sorry, the way you said that just-"

Link simply shook his head. He still tried to grasp on what his own brain did to him. "I know it confuses you, but try not to think too much about it," Impa said.

Link nodded. 

Purah proceeded to explain the original plan. "We want to take you back to Hateno. Zelda will be coming with you and we are gonna start therapy. You need it. It's gonna be hard and you'll have moments you want to quit, but we see you can't do this on your own. And you don't need to do this on your own. "

"We are here for you, and we will do everything in our power to help you, " Zelda added.

"I'll try."

_____

Several hours later. They traveled back to Hateno. Link, again, was set on constant supervision and he had to see Purah two times a week. All the alcohol that had been in his house - every part of it was searched - and together with Zelda, they threw out everything.

"The start of healing," Zelda said. "The start of healing," Link whispered. He still didn't think he could fight it, but Zelda kept reminding him that she would be there.

___

"But what about the rebuild? You still have to visit the Rito and the Gerudo."

Link just returned from his first therapy session with Purah and it felt like he was hit by an avelange. Only, it were his emotions that had reared their head.

"Right now my focus is on rebuilding you. The kingdom survived 100 years without a monarch, they can wait some more," Zelda said. 

__

Purah worked day and night after declaring that Link would need more than talking. So she started looking in different types of things that would aid him.

Symin was roughly pulled out of his concentration by Purah's yell. "I got it!" she yelled, jumping off her stool and shoving the book she held as close to her assistants face as she could. "What do you have?" Symin asked. "I know how to give Link a more normal life," Purah said. Symian took a quick look in the book. "Medicine?" he asked. "Yes! Apparently, this will help balance out Link's mood swings and high highs and low lows," Purah exclaimed, excited about the new development in her research.

_____

"You really think this will work?" Zelda sat at the table with Purah, who had shown him the result of her research; oval capsules. Link sat on the other side of the room, zeroing in on the tiny object. "They're not a cure, Zelly, if you think that," Purah said in her normal teasing tone. 

That earned a laugh from Link. He enjoyed seeing these two when they're deep into science. But doubt reared its ugly head, making him question if he was worth it. Worth all the trouble that Purah went through to get his life back. 

_ Because he fucked it up.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 1st, I start working. This means it will take longer for me to write and put out a chapter, because health care can be tiring...
> 
> But don't worry!! I will keep writing!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Zelda are back on the road.
> 
> Purah has given Link something to help.
> 
> And Link had a moment with the Rito poet Kass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAHAHA, YOU FOUND ME.
> 
> Actually I found the motivation to fucking write. 
> 
> Sorry for the 6000000 years it took me to update. 
> 
> But here it is! COMMENTS ARE APRECIATED! I LOVE THEM SM!

Being under supervision didn't mean he had to stay indoors. Purah encouraged it to keep everything as normal as possible. 

It was also the first day for Link to take the medication Purah had given him. The 'pills' as she had called them, were supposed to really work within a few weeks.  _ "But only if you take them every day,"  _ Purah had said. 

"Come on, Link, we really have to go. Did you take your medication?" Zelda's voice pulled Link back into reality. "Sorry, I was lost in thought I guess," he said. "Don't lose your head," Zelda replied, a laugh following. "I won't," Link replied. 

___

After Link finally got the courage to take one pill, he and Zelda were on their way to Rito village. "The village elder doesn't believe I am the same Link from 100 years ago," Link said after a few hours of silent traveling. Zelda looked up. "He doesn't?" she asked, totally surprised by this new piece of information. Link shook his head. "No, he believes I am his descendant. Which makes sense since I don't remember anything." Zelda nodded. "That makes sense, indeed," she murmured. 

Silence swept over the two again. Until Zelda spoke up again. "How do you feel?" she asked. She noticed Link's delayed reaction. "Tired. I don't really know how to explain it," he replied. "Purah said something along the lines that it is the cause of those pills," Zelda explained. "Riding a horse might have not been the best idea," Link said. He felt like everything was going super fast and he had trouble catching up.

"Maybe we could leave her at the stable and-" 

"I'm fine. Really, I am." 

Zelda let out a deep sigh. "Link, we've talked about this." They did. "I know you want me to break the wall, but that's not easy. Purah knows this, I hope you will as well one day," Link said. Zelda stopped trying after that. She knew pushing the subject would only aggravate him, rather than have him opening up. 

___

By the time they reached the stable close to Rito village, Link felt like he could fall asleep at any moment. It was late. "We should sleep. You look like you could drop any second," Zelda commented. A lazy grin was the answer. 

Link thought the universe was playing with him. If he was tired before, he was now wide awake lying in one of the beds. It was already getting very late and how much he tried to close his eyes, sleep evaded him. 

Turning on his left side, his right side, on his back. Whatever he did, he couldn't get comfortable. Frustrated. Pins and needles, like a bucket of ice were dumped on him and left him shivering in its wake. By now he would have the easy way out at his side, but that wasn't there anymore. 

_ I need something!  _

Back on his side, arms wrapped tightly around himself. He dug the tips of his fingers into his arms. 

_ Goddess, give me anything to rid me of this! I need something!  _

He knew what that something was. But again, that something was gone and it made him feel tense. On edge. Like a wave crashing against the cliffside and breaking into millions of droplets. Each going in their own direction. 

  
  


_ I have no direction. Where do I go? Which path to take? I'm going insane. I'm such a burden. Why? Why do I feel like this? I don't want to feel. Why? Why? Why?  _

Feeling too tense to keep still and not able to sleep, Link got up, but did not leave the bed yet. 

_ Just get some fresh air. Yeah, that's probably the best.  _

**_Or maybe find something to release that feeling._ **

Link stepped off the bed and got outside. 

_ Just fresh air _ , he told himself. 

**_Why suffer when you can use the quick way. At least you will sleep._ **

The voice was nasty and persistent again. Making choices was hard. And Link felt like his mind was split in two, fighting in a war. Who will win? He didn't know who or what to trust anymore. Or who to  _ listen  _ to. 

He was so far in thought, walking aimlessly, he hadn't seen the person in front of him and was met with a body full of - 

_ Feathers?  _

Taking a step back, he saw the friendly face of none other than Kass. "S-sorry, I didn't see you, I-" Link didn't know what to say. He was still at war with himself. Then a thought struck him: Kass was up late. Later than he normally was. Link didn't know why, and frankly, he didn't care. All he wanted was the tension in him to go away. 

"You seem distressed. Is something going on, my friend?" Kass suddenly asked. An edge of concern and sympathy was heard. 

_ Not again. Can no one leave me alone for five seconds?  _

Link didn't want another person up in his business. He did not want to feel like he was trapped in choices. 

Music suddenly fills his ears. Kass had started playing on his Concertina. The gentle flow of the notes caused Link to lose a bit of his tension and felt himself ease a bit more. The anxiety that he felt, melted a bit, but it was still there. Still, he forced himself to close his eyes and listen to the smooth melody. 

His indecisive nature faded with every note and soon he was completely enveloped in whatever song Kass was playing. 

A few minutes later, the song stops and Link is pulled back into reality. He then decided it was best to open up a little. 

"I- I feel stuck. I feel stuck in this endless loop of what ifs. The endless struggle of my own mind fighting a war to the point that I don't know if I will win it or not. Giving in or pushing on and fighting."

Kass let out a hum, but otherwise kept silent. 

" I don't know what else to do. I hate feeling like this but I just don't know what to do with them. Normally I had a quick escape, but it was taken away and-" Link let out a shuddering breath. Just the thought of it made his anxiety skyrocket. 

"And this causes you distress?" Kass' voice pulled Link out of his stupor and he nodded. 

"You know. Before I went and left my family to finish my teacher's songs, I was lost too. I didn't know what purpose I had in the world. I loved my family, but I still lacked that feeling of purpose. So I went, and searched. And I came across my teacher." Kass fell silent for a moment, pondering on his words. "He started teaching me his songs and told me that one day, someone will come onto my path that I will be able to provide this music to."

Link nodded. 

"I had to work hard. And when my teacher passed away, I felt like I was back in that deep, dark endless pit," Kass continued, "but I had his music and I started playing. At that moment there wasn't really anyone that listened, but I had something to focus on. Every day I played for twenty minutes and let myself get lost in that moment. And after that, I felt like I could continue on. And then you came on my path, and I finally understood his message. You were the one I would provide my music for, Link. You were my purpose."

These words caused Link to look up.  _ Me?,  _ was his first thought. Kass saw Link's shocked expression and decided on something. He fumbled in his pack that he carried around and seconds later, he handed Link a small object. Link took it and looked at it. 

It was a simple, hollowed out cube of wood with small, metal prongs of various sizes attached.

Curiously, Link pulled on one of the prongs and it let out a sound. "That's a Kalimba. It helped me when I was struggling with my mind and needed something to focus on. It may be of use to you," Kass explained. "You're giving this to me?" Link asked, totally dumbfounded on the sudden generosity. "I have my Concertina. Do you want to learn a song?" Kass asked. 

Link frowned for a moment, but then nodded. "Okay," Kass said, "this is the song of the princess. My teacher taught me this." 

_ Right.  _

Link settled himself against the wood of the stable and held the Kalimba. 

_____

Zelda woke up to a soft melody. It was slow and had some mishaps, but something deep within her, she recognized it. She just couldn't figure out from where. 

Turning to face Link, she saw that his bed was empty. Panic immediately set in and she flew out of the bed. 

Quickly, she got dressed and ran outside…. 

Only to find Link sitting against the stable with, what she assumed, was a wooden instrument .  _ He was playing the melody,  _ she realized. 

She also figured that he was completely focused on what he was doing and hadn't heard her rush out of the stable. He looked exhausted, but also more relaxed. 

It made her smile in endearment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BIG THANKS TO MagesticGaZell for their help on the conversation between Kass and Link.
> 
> Please check out their work and show them love! They're amazing!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is why we can't have nice things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: self harm.
> 
> I felt like uploading. It's short but eh, I wanted it out there.

Link decided not to tell Zelda about what was going on that night. She had a lot on her mind already and it made him feel like he was taking up all of her time. 

She doesn't need more of me. 

So he smiled when she talked about her passion. Laughed at her jokes. Showed interest when she prayed at the small statue just beyond the entrance. 

But it was all an act. He hadn't slept and barely ate anything, kept playing on the Kalimba. All to keep himself busy. Even though the conversation did help in that moment, he didn't know if it would help in the long run. 

He decided to not accompany Zelda, since he was never into the political side of the reconstruction. He felt sluggish from both lack of sleep and the medication. 

Deciding he wanted to be alone for as long as possible, he walked over to the big platform: Revali's Landing. He had stored the Kalimba in his slate, afraid he'd lose it. 

The quiet nature of the village was always something he liked. The rustling of the leaves in the wind, some silent talking, and the view. Looking back at the Kalimba, he slowly started to play the lullaby Kass had taught him. Despite his amnesia and overall horrible memory, he managed to play the song without much mistakes.

"That sounds good." 

Link almost dropped the instrument in a moment of panic. He turned around and was met with Teba. "You scared me," Link finally said, after trying to calm himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to," Teba replied. "Mind if I sit with you?" Link simply shrugged but nodded. "I saw a girl with Kenali," Teba continued. "Is that the princess of one hundred years ago?" The question took Link by surprise and yet again, he nodded. "So you really did it. I knew you could!" Teba seemed really happy, but Link struggled to keep up with it. 

"Are you okay? You look really out of it," Teba said, after realizing his enthusiasm was not shared. "I'm okay, just very tired." It wasn't a lie nor a truth. If Link was being very honest with himself, he wasn't okay. But he wouldn't let the white Rito know that. 

Teba himself didn't really believe the Hylian next to him. Something was off and it worried him. Something had changed and he couldn't decide whether it was good or bad. "I don't want to pry, but you worry me," Teba said. "You don't need to," Link replied. However, this only made Teba worry even more. "If something happened, besides the Calamity, you know you can talk to me," he said. 

"Teba, please! I don't need more people up my ass! I already have the princess nagging at me every day! I don't need you too!" 

After those words, Link put away the Kalimba, stood up, and walked off. He really was sick of everything and everyone trying to get into his business. Trying to confirm that he had a problem, that he was the problem. 

______

Teba was left stunned after Link had walked off in anger. Something about it made his stomach squeeze in alert. That's when he decided to go to the princess, who was still talking with Kenali. Teba didn't care, though. His instincts told him to warn her. 

Arriving at the top of the village, the princess was indeed still talking with the Rito elder. It seemed like a good conversation and Teba already felt bad for interrupting. He still did. 

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but princess, I need your help." 

Zelda was about to wrap up her conversation when a voice caught her attention. She looked behind her and saw a Rito warrior standing at the entrance. She recognized him as Teba. Link had told her about him and how they both fought Vah Medoh. "Teba, is something wrong?" Kenali asked, before Zelda could speak. "It's Link, he walked off angrily. It's my fault, I pried when I shouldn't, but he worries me," Teba said. Zelda felt her world stop. "Where is he?" she asked. 

"I don't know. I-" 

"Take me into the air. We need to find him!" 

Teba was caught off guard by Zelda's urgency, but he complied. "Let's be off," he said. 

_____

_Fuck._

Link had fled Rito Village and had found a secluded spot that he was sure about no one would find him. 

His thoughts were crashing against each other and this time, his Kalimba didn't work to ease his mind. Over and over he fought the urge. 

_Don't do it, don't do it!_

It was like a mantra he played over and over and over again. 

But to no avail. 

He had given into the nasty persistent voice that kept yelling to do it. To take that knife and feel. 

And now he was near tears, trembling and looking at the damage he had inflicted on himself. "Fuck," was all he could mutter as he desperately tried to stem the bloodflow. 

"Shit, shit, they can't find me like this!" 

He searched in his slate for a long sleeved dark shirt, and found the dark red Hylian tunic. "This'll have to do." 

Quickly he wrapped up both arms and put on the tunic. Still trembling, he stepped out of his hiding spot and started his walk back to Rito Village. He had put the knife, that he had found, into the slate and decided he would keep it there until he could get rid of it. 

____

"Where is he? Link!" Zelda sat on Teba's back and looked at the ground, yelling Link's name. They had been flying for well over thirty minutes and Zelda's anxiety only grew as time went by. "Goddess, help us," she prayed. 

As if Hylia herself had answered, she spotted a figure walking. She recognized the blond hair and the way they walked. It was definitely Link. Teba started to descend and soon they were on the ground. 

Zelda got off the Rito and ran to Link. "Where were you? We couldn't find you anywhere!" she said, while studying Link. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But something in her told her to check further. 

Blue eyes met green ones. Zelda didn't care anymore that Teba stood there, utterly confused. "Show me your arms," she demanded. Her gaze was fixed on Link's face.

"W-what?" 

"You heard me." Zelda's tone of voice had no room for negotiation. When Link made no move, Zelda grabbed the sleeve of the tunic and rolled it up. She was met with red stained bandages that weren't wrapped correctly. He tried to hide it, she realized. 

Teba couldn't believe what he was seeing. He had figured something was going on, but not this. He wanted to say something, but the words died in his throat. What could he say? He didn't have any experience. 

"We're going back to Rito Village," Zelda said. She sounded colder than she wanted to, but she didn't know what else to do. Later, she would have to speak to Purah about it. 

Link simply nodded. _I fucked up. I fucked it up and now she's angry!_

_**Yeah, that's what you get when you are shit at lying**_. 

_Shut up._

_**You know. She'd be better off without you. You're only causing everyone pain.** _

_No. I refuse._

_**You sure about that? Doesn't seem like she wants you around. Look at it this way. You will be free of me, your inner demon and she will be able to rest and not deal with you anymore.** _

Link couldn't help but agree. 

_They're all better off without me in it. I did my part. Now I can start and dig my well deserved grave._


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions run high. 
> 
> Mistakes are made. 
> 
> And the truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAHAHA!! YOU FOUND A TRIGGER WARNING! 
> 
> These are for: self harm and talk about suicide

Zelda's mind was reeling. She tried to look in every corner of it on how she could've let this happen  _ again!  _ She knew she handled it wrong.  _ He'll never trust me again after what I did. Goddess, I'm such a bad friend!  _

She looked behind her where Teba and Link were walking. Both were silent, no one dared to say anything. It was like something or  _ someone  _ had died. 

Teba decided it was best to take Link to his place and Zelda agreed. They needed a somewhat private spot, so no one would ask questions.

Link simply followed. He felt like his chest was hollowed out and someone had poured acid in it. The cuts burned like a wildfire and he had to fight to conceal his pained expression. He felt exposed, like someone ripped his skin off and left him bare on all his struggles and flaws. Distantly he heard Zelda tell him to sit, and he obeyed. 

Zelda didn't know what to say. She knew she needed to apologize, but again, didn’t know how. So they sat there, while Link stared at the ground and Zelda tended to his wounds. The awkward tension was rising and Zelda decided to speak up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. You've done so much for me and Hyrule and you've given your all - your life. And I want to be able to provide a safe haven for you." Link didn't look at her, but she knew he was listening. 

_ "I'm sorry."  _

His voice was so soft, she almost missed it. "Link, there's nothing to apologize for. I  _ know  _ this is hard. I know you try," Zelda said. Her heart squeezed with worry for her knight. 

"I'm-you're better off without me."

Both Zelda and Teba looked at each other in horror. Link didn't see the interaction and kept talking. "I'm sorry for ruining every meeting you have. I'm sorry for being such a burden and being like this." He looked up. "I'm sorry for being alive." 

Zelda felt like her heart had got up and left her chest. This wasn't the first time. It was the sole reason why she had to keep an eye on him. Automatically she wanted to think of anything she had read about this state of mind, but she knew this wasn't the place and time. She needed to be there for her friend and protector. 

"I don't know why you think this, but never be sorry for the way you feel. You're not okay, and that's okay. I told you that I'll do everything I can to help you," Zelda said. "You didn’t ruin the meeting, I got done what I had to do and now my focus is you," she continued. Link looked down at his now freshly bandaged arms. "I'm sorry you had to see this, Teba. Some hero am I, right?" he said. "You're also human. I couldn't expect that this journey wouldn't leave you unscathed," Teba said. He had no experience in that field, but he had heard stories of soldiers coming out of war and struggling mentally. 

Link seemed to fit that picture. Teba struggled with not knowing what to do. He looked at Zelda in desperation but she simply shook her head. "We're gonna go back to Hateno, and you're gonna visit Purah immediately when we get there," Zelda said to Link. Her no nonsense voice was back. It was the only way to get through to her knight. He was still stubborn as ever. But Link let out a sigh and nodded, not bothering to speak up. 

____

Teba walked with the two Hylians to their horses that were still at the stable. Link walked in front, Zelda and Teba followed. "You think he's gonna be okay?" Teba asked, eyeing the knight nervously. "He started therapy and is on medication," Zelda said. "I'm afraid we'll have to limit his access to a lot of things. He's not gonna like it at all." Teba pondered on those words. "Are you afraid he would-" He didn't dare to finish the sentence, but Zelda nodded. "It almost happened in Kakariko. We had to take out everything sharp," the princess replied solemnly. "Damn," was all Teba could say.

___

The trip back was mostly done in silence. Link didn't feel like talking and put all his energy in not trying to burst out in tears and crawl in a hole. Zelda didn't know what to say and felt like she really needed advice from either Purah or from Impa. That had to wait. She needed to get Link to Purah. "You know," she started, "I don't want to lose you." Link looked up and directed his gaze at her. He stayed silent though, so Zelda took that as an invitation to continue. 

"You're important to me. To Hyrule." 

Internally she cringed.  _ That came out so wrong, do better!,  _ she scolded herself. "What I meant to say: you're valuable and worthy of every ounce of love the people give you, because you gave them a chance to live," she said. 

Link looked away. He did not want to have her see him crumble. Not after he had tried to hold it in. His chest felt tight and his throat closed up. "I'm not worth anything," he managed to choke out. 

"Why.. Why do you think that?" 

The dam broke and flooded over. 

_ "Because I failed! I made all these people suffer for one hundred years, Zelda!"  _

Zelda looked at Link who had made his horse stop. Her eyes fell on his shaking shoulders. She ushered her horse a bit further so she was standing next to her knight. He had lost the fight with his emotions and was now reduced to tears. "I'm so  _ tired!  _ So fucking tired, Zelda. All of this is too much. I feel like I'm drowning. Everything hurts and I just want it to end!" Link yelled. "I can't anymore! Please, I want to die!" 

The last words had shook Zelda to her core. Again. She knew he was mentally hurting and had expressed vaguely about dying. But this was the first time she'd hear him practically yell that he has a wish to die. 

"Let's get to Hateno village," she said. Link didn't try to wipe away his tears as they didn't seem to stop anyway.

_____

Purah was standing on her usual stool, writing in a book. Symin was at his spot at the bookshelf, searching for whatever he was learning about. It was quiet. Only the sound of birds and footsteps was heard. 

Wait. 

Footsteps? 

The door swung open and Purah was met with Link and Zelda. By the looks of Zelda's concerned look and Link's lack of response, something had happened. "Zelda, is everything okay?" she asked anyway, just to make sure she wasn't going senile. Zelda shook her head. It was all Purah needed. "I wish to speak to you alone," Zelda said. "Of course. Symin, could you take Link with you for a moment?" Purah asked. Symin nodded and took Link outside via the door at the side of the house. 

"Purah, I really think it's not wise to have Link outside the village," Zelda said as soon as the two men had left. "Did something happen?" Purah asked. 

"He's not okay, Purah." 

"I know that. He's my patient. What happened?" 

"He got his hands on something sharp and used it on himself when he managed to leave Rito village." The words rolled out of her mouth, before Zelda could stop herself. Why would she want to stop herself? "There's more, isn't it?" Purah's red eyes looked at the princess with concern. "Yes. Before we left Rito village, Link apologized to me. To him, he ruined my meetings, he felt like a burden. He was even sorry for being alive," Zelda started. She took a deep breath before she continued. "During our trip, I tried to talk to him. Remind him of his worth, but that did not go so well." 

Another breath. 

"He told me that he was hurting. I don't know if it was physically too, but it came down to it that he felt like he was drowning and didn't want to go on anymore… Purah, he told me he wants to die." 

The silence in the room was deafening. The only thing that was heard was the creaking of the wood and the soft hum of the Sheikah pedestal. Purah's mind worked twice as fast over all the knowledge she had obtained as a scholar and from recent events. She then came to a stop at the moment they told her the story of how Dorian had prevented Link from taking his life.

Red flag one.

And it was the key to her answer. "I should've seen this immediately! Goddess, I'm so stupid! Please, Zelly, bring Link in here. I'm going to talk to him," she said. 

_____

Link sat silent across Purah. He hadn't said much according to Symin, but Purah was determined to dig up the truth. She knew it herself. But she wanted to hear it from the soldier himself. 

"I know you talked about me with Zelda."

Purah let put a sigh. "Link. I need to ask you this," she started, " are you actively planning on taking your own life?" 

Silence. 

"I don't know. I don't really have a solid plan… But if the opportunity was there… Then I'd do it."

"Let me rephrase my question," Purah said. "Link, tell me honestly. Are you suicidal?" 

Link stayed silent. 

And then nodded. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link gets a memory
> 
> Emotions run high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This bitch made herself cry writing this hxhdbdnxbx

_ You're such a fucking idiot!  _

Link sat on his bed, the next morning. This time there was no way he could travel. Purah took his answer seriously and now he was stuck in the village. 

Zelda had the slate and everything that could pose a danger, was taken. He had nothing but his thoughts. "Link! Are you awake?" Zelda's voice came from downstairs. Link let out a deep sigh and got himself dressed. He didn't want to be awake and have his mind play tricks on him. Every ounce of self control was gone. He was stuck being in the hands of Zelda and Purah. In the hands of the village. 

Slowly he walked down the steps. Everything felt heavy as if someone had replaced his bones with boulders and muscles with jelly. "I'm here," he said, not caring that he sounded tired. He was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. Anything to keep his thoughts at bay. 

Zelda tried her best to keep everything as normal as possible, but she knew she couldn't do that. She was well aware of the danger that her own knight posed to himself and it scared her more than she cared to admit. Purah had instructed her to try, but also keep it real. Link was far from dumb and could see through anything. 

Link sat down on one of the chairs at the table. He didn't want to eat. The thought alone made him sick. Everything tasted like ash. "Link, I know you don't want to eat, but please… Try," Zelda said, when she saw his facial expression. "What sense does it make? If I die, I don't have to eat and you'll be free from me," Link said, voice flat and empty. "I'm here to help you," Zelda said.

"You shouldn't waste your energy on me."

_ "Fucking dammit, Link! I don't want to lose you!"  _

Silence swept over the little house. "Please try. Where is the courageous man I knew? I know he's in there," Zelda said. "He's dead. He died one hundred years ago and left me behind to pick up the pieces," Link deadpanned. "I'm done." He wanted to get up but Zelda stopped him. "Don't you forget something?" she asked.

_ Right.  _

Zelda was in charge to make sure Link kept taking his medication. Since both her and Purah didn't trust him alone with them, she was given the bottle. "I know you hate this, but it's for your own safety," she said. "Like I have a choice anymore. You guys took everything," Link said, after he had swallowed the pill and decided to go outside. 

"Can I at least have my Kalimba? Don't worry, I won't break it and try to stab myself." 

"It's these types of comments that make me say no." 

Link decided it was no use and went outside. It was raining, but he didn't care. He hoped it would wash away the heavy feeling. 

"Good morning, Link!" Bolson sat at his usual spot with Karson. "Hi, Bolson," Link greeted back, but the enthusiasm lacked and Bolson noticed that. He had some information from Zelda regarding Link's behavior, so he wasn't bothered. "How are you feeling today?" he asked. "Tired. But I guess I have to see to get through today," Link replied and continued walking. 

The rain felt refreshing. It seemed to wash off all of his worries. Slowly he walked up the hill and his eye fell on the small dock next to the dye shop. Sometimes he would just lay down in the rain, letting the water drops fall on him. 

So he did just that. The wood was cold beneath him, but he did not care. For now he just wanted to  _ feel.  _ It was then that the way the sun shone behind the clouds, the rustling of the leaves in the wind and the sound of the rain, the image of a girl popped into his head. Bright blonde hair, eyes with two different color irissen and a red dress. 

\-------

_ "Link! Why are you lying in the rain? It's freezing!"  _

_ Link opened his eyes to his sister Aryll, who stood over him. Her yellow locks caused droplets to fall in his eyes. "I like this. It's calming," he said. Aryll frowned. "But you will get sick! And mom would be mad that you get sick again!" she exclaimed. "Okay, okay, I'll come home," Link said, sitting up. He looked at the small pond for a moment, before getting up. "Would you ever think of getting your clothes dyed?" Aryll suddenly asked, pointing to the dye shop that stood next to the dock. "I don't know. Maybe. It would be cool though!" Link replied. "Do you think mom would let me dye my dress?" his sister asked, pointing to her red dress. "No. She made that dress for you, you wouldn't want to ruin that, now would you?" Link asked and Aryll shook her head.  _

_ Quickly the two made their way to their home across the bridge. "Link! What did I tell you about staying out too long in the rain?" a woman's voice sounded. "Sorry, mom, I got distracted," Link said. "Well, alright. Get inside, both of you," his mom said. _

_ \------ _

Link came back to reality with a start. The air felt heavy and the ground felt like it was moving. Reality hit him like a ton of bricks.  _ He lived in this village… In the same house! _

He couldn't move. His lungs felt like they had shrunk and couldn't get enough oxygen through his body. His breaths grew shallow and quickened.  _ I had a sister, and I forgot her! Oh Goddess! _ , he thought. His vision wavered and it seemed impossible to get up. Still, he forced himself to do so and get home. 

The rain let up and people started to emerge from their homes. Link didn't pay them any mind and tried to get his breathing under control. But the memory was still so fresh, it was an impossible task. His legs felt like jelly and he was afraid he'd drop on the spot. He felt light-headed and it was hard to focus on anything. 

Just as he was halfway, he was stopped by two kids who lived in the village. Nebb and Narah. Both were exited to see him. "Mister Link! Do you have any cool weapons to show?" Nebb asked, oblivious to Link's struggle. Link tried to answer, but his voice failed him. His eyes landed on Narah.  _ She was wearing a red dress.  _ It was then that his body gave up the fight and Link fell to his knees. 

"Someone get help," a man yelled. Hands were on his shoulders. Link heard his name, but he didn't have the strength to answer. His lungs heaved in the oxygen he though he was lacking. No one besides Purah, knew what to do with the panicking hero. 

It was then that tiny hands grabbed his. Link looked up and looked in the face of Aryll - no - Narah. His vision was rippling between memory and reality. "Mister Link, why are you sad?" the girl asked. "Did I do something to make you sad?" Link managed to shake his head. "Then what is it? Do you miss someone?" Narah continued asking. Link nodded. "I do too. My daddy was very sick. And one day he did not wake up. But mommy told me he'd still be there," Narah said. "I forgot my sister," Link suddenly said with stuttering breath. "I don't remember my daddy either. But that's okay," Narah said, her big brown eyes looking in Link's blue ones. "Mommy tells me stories. I still don't know what he looks like, but that's okay," Narah continued. "Mommy told me that it's important to look ahead instead of back. I thought daddy would be mad that I would be happy without him, but I know he doesn’t." Link didn't say anything. He just listened. "Your sister will probably be very proud of you. Her brother is the hero! You saved my mommy and me!" Narah said happily and hugged Link who was taken back by the sudden affection. 

It was then that he realized that he had started crying. Heart wrenching cries escaped him and he hugged the girl like she was his own sister. "And you know what is the best? I have my best friend Nebb! All thanks to you!" Narah continued. At that, Link had lost all his walls he had build up and grieved. 

"I'm so sorry, Aryll!" 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link has his mind set.
> 
> Both Zelda an Purah are oblivious.

Zelda ran out of the door when she was disturbed by a villager. Something was going on in the village center and her mind immediately went to Link. 

She found him hugging a girl and her heart broke at the sight; her knight was reduced to agonizing sobs and screamed something about Aryll. 

Slowly, she stepped closer. "Link?" The sound of her voice made Link look up. She took over the spot of the little girl and sat across Link. 

"What happened?" she asked.

Link seemed to come back to reality, only to lose grip of it again. His breathing sped up again when he realized that people were looking at him. "Let's get inside," Zelda offered. 

Link wanted nothing more than getting inside and never coming out. 

As they walked back, Link saw his world ripple again. It caused him to stop dead in his tracks. Zelda continued walking, until she didn't hear the second pair of footsteps. 

Looking back, she saw Link staring straight ahead, but not at her. He looked past her and following his stare, it dawned on her it was the house he was looking at.

"Link?"

Cautiously, she walked over to her knight, who seemed to be rooted to the ground.

"Link, what's wrong?" Zelda then asked. "This house... I grew up in this house," Link said after a long pause. 

Zelda felt like the ground under her had disappeared. She did not know how to reply and stayed silent. Link continued. "I- I lived here with my mother and... My sister," he said. Zelda started to panic: she knew this all this time and hadn't said a word about since they were in Kakariko.

She didn't know if she had to break the news, but yet again, Link had remembered and it was only fair for him to know the truth.

"Link. I need to tell you something," she started. Her words caught his attention. He said nothing, but in his eyes she knew she needed to continue.

"I knew you lived here."

Link felt all the blood drain from his head to his feet, leaving him light-headed. "Wh-" he started, but Zelda continued talking. "When you told me that you had a house here, I knew exactly what house it was. Impa told me to not tell you yet," she said. Link shook his head. "No, you-"

"With recent events I couldn't tell you."

"Why? Why would you keep this secret?"

"I'm sorry."

Link felt like he was gonna be sick.  _ I lived in my old house for months and I didn't realize it! _

"I need- I can't-" the words died on his tongue and he just shook his head. "I'm sorry, I should have told you," Zelda said, "but your safety was, and is, my priority."

Link didn't reply and walked past the princess. Cautiously, he walked over to the door and opened it. His world rippled again and he saw not his current house, but the house from one hundred years ago.

His mind supplied him the image of him, Aryll and his mother at the dining table, laughing.

He realized that this was before he went to the castle to become a knight. "I can't believe this," he said. "How could I forget this?"

"It's not your fault," Zelda said, resting her hand on his shoulder after she followed him in.

"Everyone is dead, Zelda, how is that not my fault?" Link said, turning around to face her.

"I was the one who everyone saw as a beacon of hope... And I took that away from them." The last sentence came out in a tiny whisper. "I took away their hope! I took away Aryll's future! I tore apart families!" Link was now yelling. 

Zelda was silenced by the anger and didn't know how to react.

"You- you don't think I feel the same way? You don't think that every time I prayed and felt nothing, I felt that I was failing?" Zelda said. "And when my father kept telling me that I had to train and pray and not be a scholar, I felt like I was going nowhere. And even with everything I did, so many died! Died, because I couldn't harness this cursed power!" Zelda was yelling, too at this point. Anger rushed through her. "I failed everyone! I let the Champions die, I let you almost die!"

"You held the Calamity back for one hundred years while I wasted one hundred years in sleep! I let you down and I let the entire kingdom down!"

Zelda fell silent. Her anger dissipated into sadness. "I'm sorry, I know it's hard on you too. But I - I just want you to know that you are not alone in this. I know how you feel," Zelda said, now in a softer voice. 

"Do you know what it feels like to wake up, not knowing what happened, having nothing but your name and a voice guiding you? To hear from a dead king to go and save a kingdom you don't recognize and get shit thrown at you by people who have known you and tell you that you are the cause of everyone's death?" Link was out of breath and had hardly any energy left to say more.

Zelda shook her head. She did not understand. She couldn't imagine what it was like to wake up with amnesia and then finding out everyone you loved had died.

"I might not know how it feels... But I can try and help."

Link scoffed. "How? How will you possibly help me? I don't know anyone to grieve," he said. "You know your sister now," Zelda said. Link shook his head. "I know what she looked like and sounds like.. I don't  _ know _ her," Link replied. He got increasingly more tired the longer he spoke about it.

"I'm going to sleep. I'm tired of today. It really was a mistake to wake up."

Zelda still stood at the door when Link went upstairs and let himself fall on the bed, not bother to get changed. 

_I really am an idiot_ , Zelda thought. She found it incredibly difficult to deal with her knights at times because of his constant switching moods. But she also knew she needed to be patient and be there for him. 

The question was. 

How long was it gonna take before she, too, broke?

\-----

Link slept the rest of the day and night, not wanting to get out of bed. He simply didn't have the will power for it. He declined food, didn't drink. He refused to take his medication.

"He's not doing better," Zelda told Purah, after she had invited the sheikah scientist over the next day. "He refuses everything. His moods are getting worse, I'm scared to let him leave.. He won't even leave his bed."

"There's nothing much we can do... We have no establishments to keep him under twenty-four hour supervision," Purah replied.

Zelda let out a sigh. This was going to be hard. "There has to be something," she started," something to at least get him up and moving." 

Purah let out a hum as reply and walked up the stairs as we as her short legs could. If the situation wasn't so dire, Zelda would've laughed at her friend's struggle to climb the stairs. 

____

Purah looked at the lumb in the bed; Link had covered himself with blankets. Only a tuft of hair stuck from under it and he seemed to be in a deep sleep. 

Link woke up to tugging. Something was at his bedside. He grumbled and pulled the blanket back over his head. "Go away," he said. 

"Link, get up," was the reply. 

_ Purah?  _

Link pulled the blanket from his head and turned around. Indeed; there stood Purah, her head barely poking above the bed, brows furrowed in with a concerning glance. 

"Not you too! Please leave me alone!" Link said, groaning. 

"I understand today is not a good day, but I need you to try and get up." Purah saw the blank stare, the bags under his eyes and just the overall exhaustion that had taken over his features. Link didn't reply and turned back around, facing the wall. 

"I don't feel like waking up. Just let me sleep forever," he said. Purah felt her heart tug;  _ he sounded and looked so tired.  _

Something had to be done. She saw the decline in his mental health and it was getting more dangerous. He was getting more and more unstable. 

____

In the days that followed, Zelda had managed to get Link out of bed, got him to bathe and had him put on clean clothes. 

Still, the sheer exhaustion was clear on his face despite the amount of sleep he got. 

Zelda needed to get him out of the house. But she couldn't leave him alone. Her plans to go to Gerudo town were postponed until she was certain Link wouldn't hurt himself in any way. 

Link however, was thinking of any way to prove he was okay and capable of traveling, protecting Zelda. So he went out, started cooking again and got back to getting himself into shape. 

But deep within, he had formed a plan. He needed to make sure no one would know about it. Purah was practically breathing down his neck ever since their talk and Zelda wouldn't leave him alone for 5 minutes. 

Until Zelda came to him one day, two weeks later. She had something in her hand, wrapped in simple paper. "Do you have a moment?" she asked. Link was laying on his bed, taking a moment after another training session. "Yeah, what is up?" Link asked, curiously eyeing the package Zelda was holding. 

"I wanted to give you something… purah said it may help to sort out your thoughts." 

Sitting up, Link took the object from Zelda and stared at it for a solid minute. 

"What is it?" 

Zelda giggled. "Open it!" she said, and Link did so. Carefully unwrapping the present, he was met with a leather book. It was a notebook. "You can use it to write down anything you want," Zelda said, " it's yours." 

Link was flabbergasted. He didn't really know what to say. "Why?" he asked. "I've seen you work hard to get back on top and I thought I'd give you something for it, while it will also help," Zelda replied. Link smiled, a  _ real  _ smile. Even he was surprised he could do that. 

_ Is this the road to actual recovery?  _

_ ____ _

_ No.  _

_ The universe wasn't so lenient.  _

Link stared at the blank page in his new journal. He wanted to write something. Sharing his thoughts in secret. 

_ Hell 1. _

He paused. Setting his quil aside to think on what to write next. 

_ They think I'm doing better… They think I'm starting to climb up, but every day, I manipulate my way through the day. Zelda gave me this diary-journal to write down my thoughts.  _

_ But they'll never know that I am at the end of my rope - ironically- and I see no way out. They will find out when I'm gone…  _

_ It can't happen soon enough…  _

Link closed the book and put it away in a spot where he knew no one would look; a floorboard had let loose and it supplied for a good hiding spot. 

"Link! Don't forget that you have to go to Purah," Zelda's voice called from downstairs. 

"Right, thanks!" 

Link closed the floorboard and got up to go to Purah. Since his supposed positive recovery process, Purah cut down his therapy sessions back to two times a week instead of four. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt bad, but he really had enough. Every day was like a heavy stuffy blanked was draped over him and he didn't have the will power to continue.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link and Zelda head to Gerudo town and get themselves into a race... 
> 
> ~you'd think Hylia would spare them one moment of peace... ~
> 
> Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the amazing 
> 
> sky_squido
> 
> Go show them some love and support! They make amazing stories and deserve all the kudo's and comments!

"Are you ready for Gerudo Town?" 

Link shot up at the sound of a voice speaking and proceeded to fall out of bed. A very happy Zelda leaned over the fallen boy. "Goddess, Zelda, you scared the shit out of me," he breathed. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," her reply came, but Link saw in her eyes that she meant to do it. 

"You sneaky little-" he didn't finish his sentence and stood up. Zelda was already dressed and ready to go, so Link made a dash for the bath and ten minutes later he came out and got his things.

"Don't forget breakfast  _ and  _ your medication," Zelda reminded her friend. 

She was still wary of Link's physical and mental health, and her stubbornness had benefits here. "Yes, mom," Link said, holding up his hands in surrender. 

It took another five minutes until Link was actually ready. 

"Let's go!" 

____

Zelda was stubborn when she wanted to travel by slate. Link frowned, not really sure about that idea. 

"I don't even know if it can carry two people."

Zelda smiled mischievously. "Well, we won't know until we try, now would we?" 

Link let out a sigh and nodded. He knew he wouldn't get his princess off the idea, so he complied. Zelda held on to Link while he looked for the shrine at Gerudo town.

"Ready?" 

Zelda nodded and her world was replaced by blue. 

___

Landing on the shrine was an odd sensation. Zelda felt her head spin a bit and had to sit down, just to get her bearings back. 

She was, however, distracted by a gagging noise. Turning around, she saw Link hunched over in the sand, emptying his stomach with the breakfast he had eaten. 

"Link?" 

A thumbs up was the response. "I'm fine," came after that. 

Zelda was still a little skeptical, but then her mind supplied a thought; it could be the combination of fast travel and medication messing with him. 

"Okay," Link's voice pulled her out of her thoughts, "you ready?" Zelda turned around and was met with a sight she had never seen. 

In front of her stood her mighty warrior, dressed in silk. A turquoise top that stopped at his midriff and wide loose pants that seemed to adorn the same decoration. On top of his head, he wore a headscarf and the lower part of his face was covered by a veil. 

His blue eyes looked at her with a hint of mischief. "Oh my Goddess… Link, is that you?" Zelda asked. "Go ahead and laugh," Link said. 

And Zelda did just that.

"I- is this how you got into Gerudo Town?" 

Link nodded. 

Zelda stifled her laughing when Link squinted his eyes. "Don't you have a meeting to go to?" he asked. 

"Right."

____

"Princess Zelda, Link, you really did manage to defeat the great Calamity!" 

Riju looked at the two Hylians with a big smile. "I'm glad to see you both in one piece," she continued. 

"Thank you for having us. I'm sorry we couldn't deliver this news earlier. Some -" Zelda looked briefly at Link "-more political things got in the way that we needed to attend to." 

She missed the look Link gave her. One of utter disbelief. "That's quite alright. I had an inkling on what happened. That bright light told me more than enough," Riju said. 

A moment of silence swept over the room. 

"Now, who wants to go Sandseal racing?" 

____

"A political thing? Really, Zelda?" Link whispered when they left the throne room. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else I could say," Zelda whispered back.

"Everything, but that!" 

The conversation ended there.

  
  
  


Just outside of town, Riju waited with Buliara and two other women. Both looked like hippies. "Look who we have here," The woman with the sunglasses and skin as leather, said. 

Link already was ready for a race. The same twinkle was found in his eyes. "You want me to race you?" Zelda asked dumbfounded. 

Link nodded. 

"B-but I've never done this!" Zelda exclaimed, real fear shone in her eyes. 

"All you need to do is hold on tight and don't fall off the shield," Link said. 

"You literally make it sound so easy," Zelda jested and that shut up the Hylian Champion for a moment. Link quickly regained himself and let out a sigh. 

"Okay, I'll explain." 

It took several trials and errors for Zelda to get on the shield and to properly hold the reigns that were attached to the harness. 

"I think I got it!" Zelda's smile was like the sun, and Link could briefly feel the warmth of it. Unfortunately, dark clouds replaced that warmth with cold air. 

Zelda smirked at her knight. "Ready to get beaten?" she asked. 

"Bring it!" Link replied, trying to look confident. 

"Please take your places," the lady with the leather looking skin said. 

Both Hylians did so

"Ready?" 

Zelda glanced over at Link. 

"Set?" 

Link gave a lopsided smile. 

"Go!" 

Zelda took off with surprising speed. Sand spewed in all directions and it gave her a head start on her knight. 

The feeling of the wind in her hair made her feel all sorts of things. She felt excited, brave and free. Quickly she looked back and saw that Link was gaining on her. 

"I will win this!" he screamed. 

"Ha! As if!" Zelda called back. 

However, her moment of euphoria was quickly cut short when her shield got stuck under a rock and made her lose balance and fall. 

Somewhere vague, she heard Link yell her name, but she couldn't reply as her Sandseal kept going, dragging her along. 

Link saw it happen like someone had slowed down time itself. One moment he saw his princess have the time of her life, the next she was dragged along by her own Sandseal. 

As quick as it happened, it stopped. Zelda's Sandseal made a sharp turn and threw her against the stone wall in the movement, causing the rope to break. The animal stopped several meters further and seemed not to realize that its rider wasn't attached anymore. 

__

Link felt like his lungs had got up and left his body. All he could do was stare at the unmoving body of Zelda. It was like he was thrown back in statis: his body refused to move. 

_ What is happening? Move, dammit!  _

He hadn't noticed that both Buliara and Riju had gotten their own Sandseal and raced over to the fallen princess and the shocked knight. 

Link felt like his own body didn't belong to himself anymore, the same sensation he had in Kakariko from what he could remember, which wasn't much. Everything felt out of reach as if he was in a bubble, the outside world covered in cotton, muffled and out of place. 

Link felt absolutely horrible for locking up like this and he  _ knew  _ the king would hear from this. 

_ I'm going to die… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudo's and commentss are super appreciated!
> 
> I love reading what y'all think!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda's worst nightmare becomes a reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAHAHAHA! YOU FOUND A BIG ASS TRIGGER WARNING!
> 
> TW: suicide (attempt)
> 
> Credit to my beta:
> 
> Sky_squido

Zelda was taken back to Gerudo Town and Link sat on the stairs of the palace. Sitting down, he realized his mind had been playing tricks and silently supplied him with the thought of the King hearing about the incident. 

He now realized that would be impossible. The King had died one hundred years ago. It terrified him that his own brain would play with him like this. 

Still he felt as if His Majesty himself would look at him with disdain. 

_ You let this happen,  _ Link cursed to himself.  _ What trained knight would lock up? What knight let his mind take over?  _

A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Buliara standing behind him. "How is she?" he asked, getting up himself. 

"She's awake. She was very lucky to only have a mild concussion and some bumps and bruises. But she'll be fine," Buliara replied. Link felt like a weight was off his shoulders, but the anxiety returned with a vengeance; Zelda was still hurt in his presence. 

_ I did this!  _

**_Yes, you did!_ **

"Link," Buliara cut through Link's self deprecating thoughts, "breathe." 

It was only then that Link realized his heart was beating at an insane rhythm and his breathing had picked up. "She's fine and she wants to see you." 

__

When she woke up, Zelda had no idea where she was. It took her a minute to recognize the brightly colored stuffed animals and the colorful bedspread to know she was in Riju's room. 

Her first thought immediately went to Link. Where was her knight? Zelda looked around some more and saw Riju sitting in the corner. When Zelda moved to sit up, Riju woke up. "You're awake!" the young leader said. "Link would be happy to hear this. How do you feel?" 

"Tired and my head feels like it might explode," Zelda replied. 

"You have a mild concussion, but other than that it's just bumps and bruises, so you were very lucky," Riju said. Zelda just nodded. 

"Where is Link?" 

"I'll send him over." 

__

A minute later, Link stepped in. He looked distraught and close to panic. Zelda knew he'd blame himself for whatever had happened. She realized she hadn't asked and was more concerned for her knight than herself.

"Goddess, Zelda, you're okay!" he exclaimed and hugged her but had to let go when she hissed out in pain. 

"I'm sorry!" 

Zelda shook her head. "It's okay, just sore," she said. Link didn't reply. He just looked at Zelda with fear. "Link, I'm fine. Neither of us could have foreseen this," she reassured him. Or at least tried. 

Link wanted to say something, but his voice failed him. He  _ wanted  _ to believe Zelda, but the nasty voice in his head returned.

**_This is what happens when you are a liability._ **

_ No! _

**_She just says this to save you from the truth._ **

_ I- _

**_This is your fault. You made her race, you caused her to get hurt and couldn't help her._ **

Link didn't have a reply to this. The voice in his head kept whispering things he wished he'd done long ago. 

"Link?" 

Zelda's voice pulled him out of his mind and back into the room. "Are you alright?" 

And Link replied with the smile he practiced. 

"I'm fine. I'm just glad you're okay." 

He then stood up.

_ Soon you won't have to worry about me anymore.  _

_ __ _

Late at night. A figure found their way in the room where Zelda slept. They crept closer to her stuff that was placed in the corner. 

They reached out. 

The princess shuffled but didn't wake up. 

For five whole seconds, the person didn't move until they knew it was absolutely sure that the blonde didn't wake up. 

Silently they left again. 

__

Zelda suddenly woke up. Not because she heard a noise, but because of a feeling. 

It washed over here like a wave. A horrible sinking feeling. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't place it. 

She got up and without thinking about it, she walked over to where Link slept.

_ And found his bed empty.  _

Her first thought was that he was just walking around, keeping her safe. But then she realized the town was full of very capable guards and alarm bells went off. 

She ran back to her room and grabbed her traveling bag. She rummaged through it. 

_ Goddess dammit, it better be here! Where are those damned pills?  _

They were gone. 

_ They. Were. Gone.  _

She stood up again and raced to Riju's room. At this point she didn't care that she woke anyone sleeping up. 

"Riju!! Riju, wake up!" she screamed. 

A second later, Buliara ran into the room and a half asleep Riju sprang out of bed, weapon ready. "What's wrong?" she asked. 

"Link is missing!" 

Both Gerudo women looked at each other. "Maybe he is just walking around. Maybe he couldn't sleep?" Riju surgested. Zelda then realized she never told the young leader of what was happening or what had happened in the past weeks and cursed herself for it. 

So she quickly explained a shortened version of the situation.

"Do you understand now why it is absolutely crucial to find him?" she pressed. Riju nodded. "Buliara, have every guard look in the town and the area around. We need to find Link!" she ordered. 

___

Link was trudging around the desert. He was dressed in his Sheikah armor despite the cold. He didn't care about that as he had one friend with him. 

_ Noble Pursuit.  _

He realized he had lied and manipulated Zelda and Purah. Riju was unaware as well. 

He positioned himself behind a rock and opened the bottle he had stolen. 

Yes. 

_ Stolen.  _

"You're such a fucking disappointment, Link," he told himself with a humorless laugh. He took the first sip and felt the liquor burn its way down his throat. The feeling was welcomed. Like an old friend reunited after a long time. 

He then turned to the small bottle in his hand and opened it. 

He knew that Zelda would find out they were missing and a part of his mind really wanted that to happen, but on the other hand he just wanted to waste away in the sand.

Buried.

Forgotten.

The lone hero who’s courage had failed him. No, scrap that; he failed the hero’s spirit and all of Hyrule. 

‘’This is the price you pay, you fucking weak bitch.’’ 

The first pill went down with the alcohol. And a thought went with it; he had to move if he wanted to make sure he wasn’t gonna be found. 

He got up and immediately felt the familiar buzz fill his body. He took a step, but sank into the sand with his foot, causing him to almost lose balance. ‘’I knew this was strong, but damn, this was not what I expected,’’ he said to no one in particular. 

He would be rendered insane if people heard him.

___

Zelda had gotten herself dressed in what felt like two seconds and went out of the town with Buliara and Riju.

‘’Fuck, fuck, fuck!’’ It was quite literally all she could scream besides Link’s name. ‘’Goddess, please keep him safe,’’ she prayed, hoping she was on time or that her knight really just went for an evening walk.

She didn’t want to be the one to find him dead. 

She really didn’t.

___

The bottle Link held was almost half empty. In combination with the pills, it set off a chain of events. Physically and mentally. 

Physically, the numbing sensation spread more and more. He had trouble walking in the sand as his world seemed to tilt around him.

Mentally, the voices only got louder and louder. Screaming and cursing. A cacophony of sounds and ringing. Like an orchestra at its peak of the score. 

**_This is what you wanted!_ **

_ Yes. _

This was indeed what he wanted.

He took another sip. The cold air around him disappeared and got replaced by a warm sensation.

**_This will all be over soon._ **

_ I'm almost there, Aryll. _

He heard someone yell before the world finally disappeared. 

___

"Link!" 

Zelda felt her throat sting with the amount of yelling she had done. The more time passed, the more terrified she got. 

They were half a mile away from the town and there was still no sight of the blond. . 

Buliara was walking up ahead, also yelling out for the missing knight. But all she got back was the silence of the desert night. 

The moment she wanted to give up, she saw something shimmering, reflecting off the full moon's ethereal light. 

"I see something," she called back, catching Zelda's attention. She followed the direction of the pointed finger and indeed, something wasn't far off in the sand. 

Zelda didn't think twice and started to run.  _ Please,  _ she begged for what felt like the millionth time. The sand made her footsteps go slower than she wanted, adding to the already existing anxiety she felt. 

The closer she got, the more she saw. The first thing her mind registered was a figure; not too tall, lean and oh so still. She willed her sore body forward and finally saw the sandy blond locks she was looking for. 

_ Goddess, no!  _

Link was laying face down in the sand, a bottle in one hand and the missing pill bottle a few feet further. 

Both nearly empty on closer inspection. 

Zelda didn't even hear herself scream. She couldn't think of anything else but the horrifying thought that she was too late. That she didn't do enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thoughts are. My life fuel are the comments!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight for a life begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying it:
> 
> BUT REALLY BIG THANKS TO SKY_SQUIDO FOR BEING MY BETA!
> 
> BLS CHECK THEM OUT!

Sidon sat in his study, reading up on the history of his people. As the next heir, he had to know as much as he could. 

Just as he was reading about Ruto, he was interrupted by yelling. 

Distressed yelling. 

Sidon got up, abandoning his studies and ran outside to the main square. 

"I need a medic!" 

Sidon recognized that voice. He ran to the shrine where the voice was coming from and was met with a disturbing sight. 

Zelda sat on the platform of the shrine, clutching another person close to her. 

Sidon only had to see the signature blonde ponytail to know who it was. 

"Princess Zelda!" 

"Please help!" was the desperate cry. Sidon didn't ask any questions and picked up the knight. 

He'll find out what happened. 

___

Frano was taking inventory on his supplies when he was interrupted by someone calling his name. 

Turning around, he saw the prince running his way with the Hylian Knight in his arms. 

"Good goddess, what happened?" he asked. 

"I don't know. Princess Zelda came teleporting here. Something’s not right!" 

Frano then saw the princess in question running in. "Goddess, Frano, please save him!" she cried out. Sidon placed Link on the bed that Frano had hastily cleared. 

"Princess, it's important for me to know what happened." 

Zelda nodded and grabbed the slate. Seconds later, she was standing with the empty bottles. She didn't even need to utter any words for Frano to understand what had happened and both she and Sidon were ushered out. 

"I need to get to Purah, but I don't want to leave Link alone." 

"Link is in good hands. I will keep watch over him while you are gone," Sidon said. Zelda gave in. This was important. 

___

Purah was busy in her lab, going through her paperwork when she was interrupted by the door slamming open. Looking up, she saw Zelda standing in the doorway. Her face had a look of pure fear and desperation. 

"Zelda?" 

"Hylia! Purah, get you stuff! We need to get to Zora's Domain!" Zelda practically yelled. 

Purah didn't know what to say, until she realized Link was not with her. "Where is Link?" she then asked. "He's in Zora's Domain. They're saving his life as we speak," Zelda said. The way she spoke got Purah to understand that this wasn't an ordinary battle. 

And she didn't need to ask the question as the next words that flew out of Zelda's mouth, felt like acid in her veins. 

_ "He tried to kill himself. " _

___

Inside the infirmary, Frano worked tirelessly with his small team of healers to save the Hylian on his bed. 

He felt blessed that The Zora's had started working with the Sheikah for more advanced equipment. 

Wires upon wires started to connect with Link. 

"We need to get this stuff out of him," Frano said. 

During that process they were faced with all sorts of trials. Link's heart gave out several times and Frano refused to let the boy die on him. 

"You better not leave this world!" Frano yelled as he, yet again, placed his hands on Link's chest and started compressions. "I will not let you." 

It was minutes later that he got Link back. 

"What happened that you wanted to do this to yourself?" 

___

Sidon hadn’t felt this helpless in a long time. Not since Mipha's death. He sat outside the infirmary, waiting for any answer. The silent conversation between Zelda and Frano confused him, until his eyes landed on the empty bottle of what appeared to be Noble Pursuit and a smaller bottle that he had never seen before. 

His mind filled in the picture itself. Link had done something that caused him to nearly die. If he hadn't already. 

Still he hoped it was all a cruel joke and that it wasn't true. 

"Sidon!" 

He turned around and his eye immediately fell on a small girl, running alongside Zelda. "Is there any word?" was the next question and he shook his head. 

"No. They're still busy."

The small girl stepped forward, to the closed door. "Purah, there's no way they let you in. It's better that we wait," Zelda said despite her wanting to go in as well. 

An hour passed by. Two hours, three hours and still no sight of the healers. 

Hour four made its attendance and Zelda was getting impatient. She got up and marched to the door. 

It was then that Frano walked out with another healer. 

The silence was palpable. And if Sidon strained his senses, he could even hear the fish splash around. 

"Please tell me he's okay!" Zelda hated that she sounded so desperate, but she could bear the thought of losing her friend. 

"It was a battle," was the first thing that came out of Frano's mouth. "His heart gave out several times, but we managed to bring him back." 

"Is he alive?" Sidon hesitantly asked. "He is. He's not out of the woods yet. Currently we keep him asleep so he can heal," Frano replied. 

Zelda felt like crying. She was terrified that she would have to bury one of her friends. Her best friend who was with her for years. She didn't think she'd be able to go through that again. not without Link by her side. 

"Can we see him?" Purah asked. 

A nod. 

___

Zelda was horrified to say the least. Her hand hovered over the doorknob. "You'll be fine. He's just sleeping and it won't be one hundred years this time," she said to herself. Still that tiny thought slipped through her mind that back then, she had hope, she knew he would return to her. But right now she didn't know if he'd wake up. 

The combination of alcohol and his medication had wreck havoc on his body, she knew

With that thought, she opened the door. 

The first thing she saw were a lot of wires. It almost looked like a guardian in progress was held here. Her eyes then fell on the lump in the bed. 

"Oh.."

It was all she could say, before she took her spot next to the bed. 

"You look awful," she said to the sleeping Hylian after a few seconds of silence. 

She wasn't lying: his face looked almost as pale as the sheets and his hair still had a little bit of sand in it and was spread out like a halo. 

"Why? What was it that made you so miserable that you saw no way out?" 

Of course she didn't get an answer. She may likely won't get one for a while. She didn't even know if he would remember what had happened. 

A tap on her shoulder made her look up. Purah stood next to her with a serious expression that would look funny on her small face if the situation wasn't so dire.

"We need to sit down and start evaluating. We don't know how long he will be like this, so we better start looking at the plans of the rebuilding of the castle," Purah said. 

"What has the castle to do with this?" 

Purah let out a sigh. "If Link needs to be transported somewhere, it's the castle. We need to look into building a center for people like Link. To keep an eye on them and give them proper help." 

Zelda fell silent and thought. Her gaze wandered over to Link and she knew Purah was right. 

"Let's do it."


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Zelda, Purah and Sidon try to be positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again beta'd by the amazing
> 
> sky_squido

In the next few days and weeks, Zelda and Purah worked hard on this facility Purah had mentioned. 

The news that came from Zora's Domain was the reason to have it done as fast as possible; Link had healed well enough physically to be taken off the sedative drugs that made him sleep. But when Frano saw no change when it had worn off, he started investigating. 

He had tried several things before his worst nightmare came true; his patient had slipped into a coma. 

  
  


Zelda was torn apart by this news, but worked even harder to get the castle done and upgraded. 

News of Link's condition quickly spread and drew hundreds of people to Central Hyrule. Most of them were construction workers: the Goron for the heavy duty, the Zora for the finer details and other Hylians who wanted to help. 

Bolson had brought back Bolson Constructions and helped with one of the side projects. He worked together with Purah on the mental health facility she had mentioned. 

Hudson felt especially drawn to the project. He wanted to do something in return for the hero who helped him build Tarrey Town. 

Zelda felt bad for not being able to go to Link as much as she wanted, but the rebuild had taken much of her time and was her main priority. 

If, no,  _ when _ Link would wake up, she'd had a place for him to go and start recovering properly. 

___

Sidon, again, sat next to Link's bed. It had been nearly a month and still there was no change. Some would say that was good, it meant he wasn't declining, but Frano had explained that the longer the knight stayed like this, the less chance there was for him to wake up. 

Still, Sidon held hope. 

He held hope for his friend who cheated death so many times and came out on top. However, the prince was still rattled with questions. 

"Why? I don't get it. I know you've been through a lot, I've seen how hard Hylia has been on you. But I'm trying to understand." 

Of course there was no reaction. He didn't expect one. But somehow, he hoped that Link would hear him. He had read about it in some scrolls how someone in a deep sleep was able to hear the world around them. 

Sidon had never encountered it and part of him was sceptical but the other part of him  _ wanted  _ to believe that Link could hear him. 

Without even really thinking about it, Sidon started, oh so softly, to sing.

_ "So, before you go _

_ Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? _

_ If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather…" _

His voice died down when he simply didn't want to think about the fact that this was a losing battle. 

He pleaded. Whether he was it to Hylia or to Link himself, he didn't know. 

_ Please.  _

____

Zelda finally was able to get back to Zora's Domain after another week of hard work. Everything had been going well and she was proud to say that the facility was near completion. Just like the castle. 

She used fast travel, not wanting to waste time. No news had come from the Domain, which she saw as good news. Link hadn't died. 

She walked up the stairs after she landed on the shrine's platform. Almost immediately she was greeted by Sidon. 

"Zelda, how is everything going?" the red Zora asked. Zelda could see that the prince tried to be upbeat, but he failed miserably at it. 

"Sidon, you don't have to pretend that things are fine," Zelda said. These words made Sidon drop his demeanor.

"How have things been going here?" The question hung heavy in the air. "No changes. I've been visiting as much as I can, but there hasn't been any reaction or signs of him waking up," Sidon said. 

Zelda expected this, but the news was disappointing regardless. She felt like an absolute failure. "I failed him, Sidon," she said with a defeated sigh. "I should've known something was wrong."

Sidon just looked at the tiny princess. "You didn't fail him," he replied. Zelda looked up with a look of disbelief. 

"I did," she said, "If I had seen the signs earlier, I could've prevented this!" 

After those words were uttered, Sidon grabbed her gently by the shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. "You couldn't have known he would turn to this. If anyone would be at fault for missing any signs, it's me," Sidon said firmly. 

"He had this planned out," Zelda said. "I gave him a diary a while back and I think he started to use it to plan."

Sidon let out a sigh. "He will live. And we will help him in any way we can." 

___

Frano had kept a close eye on Link. Any changes were reported and there were not a lot. 

For a moment he just stood and  _ looked _ . Every time that he realized that the young man in the bed was barely eighteen it felt like a stab in his gut. 

"So young. I don't understand why Hylia could be so cruel," he said to no one in particular.

A knock on the door brought the healer out of his thoughts and was met with Sidon and Zelda. "Princess, I didn't expect you here," he said. "I could finally leave for a bit. It has been a lot of work, but we are almost done," the Hylian said. 

"I'll leave you be." 

After Frano left, Zelda grabbed a stool and placed it next to the bed. For the next few minutes she just  _ sat _ . No word was spoken. "When he was in the shrine, I somehow knew he would come back. Right now I don't have that," she said after five minutes. 

"You should try and be positive," were Sidon's words. 

This made Zelda turn. "Don't you understand? I  _ found  _ him! I have to live with the image of my knight almost at the end of his life! For the second time!" Halfway through her vent, she stood up to face Sidon. 

The two looked at each other for a moment in silence and Sidon relented. "You're right," he replied. "I should've been more careful with my words. What I'm trying to say is-" Zelda saw the prince freeze up and stare. 

"Yes?" 

Sidon didn't react and kept staring at a spot behind the princess. Slowly, Zelda followed Sidon's gaze and was met with a sight she thought she'd never experience. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my poor beta reader
> 
> Sky_squido
> 
> Go check them out and show them some love!

Arguing. 

Or something that sounded like it, filtered into Link's mind. First muddled, but gradually it became clearer. 

He could hear a higher pitch voice and a lower pitched one. He just couldn't place it to who they belonged to. 

The immense effort to just open his eyes without a voice in his head coaxing him into reality seemed almost too much. Darkness replaced with blue; a lot of it, too. 

And then gold. Was he in the shrine again? Did he fail Hyrule again? Gold replaced itself with red and then grey. 

_ "-Link?"  _

It was still far away and half of what was said was lost to him, but Link knew this was a different voice from the other two. He willed himself to focus and finally the shape of a Zora came into view. 

And soon that shape sharpened and revealed the face of an older Zora. Link had trouble recognizing who it was. His instincts told him to get up but that was a no go. "Try not to move. You've been asleep for a while," the Zora said. 

If Link could laugh right now, he'd done it. Moving seemed impossible. Every muscle felt like it had lost connection to his brain. Like a cut leg of a guardian, unable to operate. He wanted to speak, but even his voice wouldn't work. 

And what was even more worrisome, was that in this moment, he couldn't remember what had happened. 

Frano saw Link's puzzling look. He was glad he had sent the two royalties out of the room. "I see you're confused, which isn't surprising to me," he said. "Don't think too much about it for now. What you need to do is rest." Link nodded and noticed that this short interaction had exhausted him. 

Before Frano left the room, Link was out like a light. 

__

"He's awake?!" 

Purah almost fell out of her chair. Zelda had come back to the castle and Purah saw that something had happened. She didn't expect to be hit by this news. 

They had finished the facility faster than Purah had expected. Everyone had worked tirelessly on the construction. And now she had her chance to go to Zora's Domain. 

"He will probably not leave the domain for a while, I guess?" Purah asked. 

"I don't know. I suspect not," Zelda pondered. 

"I guess now is as good a time as any to take a look. I want to see what state he's in for myself." 

"I was sent out of the room as soon as the healer stepped in and saw Link awake." 

Purah hummed at that. "Let's go by horse. I want to discuss things. And what better way than riding through Hyrule!" 

Zelda nodded. They really needed to have a talk. 

Twenty minutes later they were on the road to Zora's Domain. Purah was too small to have her own horse, so she sat in front of Zelda. Behind them was one of Zelda's most skilled knights, next to Link. Despite Link being out of commission for a while, she managed to get some sense of a Royal Guard. 

"How are we gonna break the news to him that he won't be heading home to Hateno?" Zelda asked after a beat of silence. Purah brought her hand to her chin, thinking deep on this very important question. She had to figure out how much Link remembered and his lucidity.

"Well have to wait and see what his state of being is right now," she eventually answered. 

That made sense to Zelda. She still felt incredibly guilty. She didn't do enough to prevent them from being in this situation. 

"I can hear you blame yourself, Zelly," Purah said, pulling Zelda out of her head, "This is not your fault." 

"I know. But-" 

"No. If anyone is to blame, it should be me. Link is under my watch and as his self assigned therapist," Purah put a hand to her chest, "I should've done a better job on keeping tabs on his mental health."

Zelda let out a deep sigh. She knew her friend was right, but still she couldn't rid herself of the fact that she almost lost her knight twice. 

The image of his pale face and the bottle clamped in his hand wouldn't leave her. I had affected her, too, and Link needed to realize that. 

_ But what good will it do to him? It'll make him feel worse.  _

**_But he hurt you._ **

_ That he did.  _

__

Link woke up to shuffling. The person in question tried to be quiet, but despite how deflated he felt, Link's hearing was still exceptional. 

He turned his head to the sound and saw Prince Sidon standing in the room. The red Zora stood bent over a stool, ready to grab it. 

Sidon apparently noticed he was being watched and tuned to Link. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," he said. A sheepish smile spread across his face. 

"If that was your attempt at being stealthy, you have a lot to learn," Link replied. His voice was still scratchy and heavy with sleep, but he was happy he could speak at all. 

"Right. Do you mind if I sit with you?" 

Link did his best attempt at a shrug. He still felt sluggish, which wasn't surprising; it was only a few hours since he had woken up. 

"I felt better after one hundred year sleep," he said, to articulate his thoughts. Sidon looked down to the floor and bit his lip. He missed the puzzled look of his friend. 

"Sidon, what's wrong?" 

To this question, Sidon looked up and Link was startled to see tears in the other's eyes. 

Link willed his tired body to sit up. It took him some time and a bit of assistance from Sidon, but now he sat with his back against the bed board.

_ "Why?"  _

This question took Link off guard. Sidon sounded so small and Link did not know why. 

"What do-" 

Sidon cut his friend off. 

"Why'd you do it?" he asked. He looked Link in the eyes as if the answer was there. But the only thing he saw was confusion. 

_ He doesn't remember,  _ was the fearful thought the prince had. He felt absolutely stupid for not thinking of that. On the other hand, he couldn't comprehend the thought of Link willingly ending his life. 

Yes, he was reckless. 

And yes, he had no regards to his own safety. 

But Sidon was still asking himself how he didn't see the signs earlier. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were struggling?" he asked. Link now seemed to know what this was about, as if a light had sprung on in his head. It was all fuzzy, but he clearly remembered one thing; he was set on ending it and he even failed that. 

___

Zelda and Purah had decided to sleep at the closest stable there was to Zora's Domain and rented out their beds. 

Almost out of instinct, she turned to the knight joining them and then realized that it wasn't Link accompanying them. 

No. 

Link was in Zora's Domain, hopefully doing well enough to move to Hyrule castle. 

"Princess," the knight suddenly spoke up, " you look troubled." 

Zelda looked up. The young man had a look of concern on his face. His grey eyes focused on her face.

Purah was already asleep and she may as well confine her thoughts to her only companion for the time being. 

"I'm just worried," were her first words.

"This is about Sir Link, isn't it?"

Zelda nodded. "I'm sorry, I never asked your name," she then said, realizing she hadn't spoken to the man at all on the road. 

"Yuki."

It was as if a goron had rolled straight into her stomach. 

Yuki… 

_ Courage…  _

  
  


**_Link..._ **


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda and Link finally see each other.
> 
> However, it may be a bit too much and too soon for one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing beta
> 
> Sky_squido 
> 
> Who I keep breaking these past few chapters lol
> 
> Go show them some love and read their amazing stories!

It was the next day around noon that Zelda, Purah and Yuki arrived at Zora's Domain. Zelda felt extremely nervous to face Link. 

She didn't know how he would react, if he was capable of holding a conversation. A lot could've been damaged. Unintentionally, she felt anger towards her knight. 

Selfish, burning anger. 

How dare he leave her alone. 

_ How dare he! _

"Getting angry at him won't help, Zelda." Purah, yet again, managed to read her like a book. 

"I know, but I just can't help it," she replied. 

She was walking straight to the infirmary when she heard voices. She recognized Frano's instantly. And then a much softer voice.

Link. 

She had to compose herself to not barge in there and scare the hell out of her friend, so she walked up and knocked on the closed door. 

"Come in!" 

Slowly, she opened the door and her eyes immediately were glued to Link. 

The knight looked up, leaning against the headboard. He immediately looked down and suddenly the needle in his hand was immensely interesting. 

Frano just finished his checkup and walked over to the princess. "Please be gentle with him," was all he said, before he walked out and closed the door. 

Purah silently followed the princess. 

"Can- may we sit down?" Zelda asked hesitantly. 

Link just nodded, not daring to look up. He heard the shuffling and seconds later both Zelda and Purah sat next to him on the very same spot Sidon sat hours earlier. 

It was silent for several minutes. Purah observed the Hylian in the bed and noticed how tired he looked. 

"I think we need to keep this short," she said, making both princess and knight jolt. 

Zelda nodded.

She opened her mouth to say something, but she found that she couldn't. All her anger she had, seemed to have fled her and she didn't have the heart to chew out her friend. 

"I know you're mad," Link said, "I'm mad too." 

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for failing you."

This made Link finally look up. "What do you mean?" he asked, slightly squinting his eyes in confusion. 

"I should've done better. I should've seen the signs. I should've seen-" Zelda couldn't finish her sentence and let her head hang. Her blonde bangs covering her eyes. 

"I couldn't even-" Link let out a shuddering breath. He was so close. So close to getting rid of his demons, but Hylia seemed to love to play with him. 

Purah hadn't said anything and saw Link's sudden change. 

"Why did you save me?" 

Zelda thought she'd given herself a whiplash by how fast she looked up in shock. 

"Link… why would you ask that?" 

Link looked back down to his hands. The needle was held in place by bandages and a part of him wanted to rip it out and run away. 

Anger suddenly found its way into his system and he balled his hands into fists. "Why couldn't you let me die? What were you trying to achieve? Make me suffer more?" 

Angry blue eyes stared into green shocked ones. 

The latter flashed with anger too. Zelda stood up and pointed a finger to the Hylian in the bed. 

"If you weren't so goddamn selfish by trying to end your life, we wouldn't be sitting here!!" 

This time, Link did rip out the needle, ignoring the small drop of blood escaping, swung his legs off the edge of the bed and stood up. 

"So I'm selfish now? I believe  _ you _ were the one," he pointed," who forced me into therapy!" 

Zelda let out an angry growl. Her whole body was trembling. 

"I wanted you to go to therapy because I couldn't bear the thought of burying you!" 

Link felt himself tremble, too, but his was of exhaustion. The sheer effort of standing was taking a lot out of him. 

The yelling and the heavy atmosphere didn't help. His heart beat violently in his chest, as if it were to jump out. 

"Okay, calm down guys," Purah said, holding her hands up, "yelling won't help this. Zelda, this isn't helping either of you."

She stepped off her stool and held Link's hand. She held one of her fingers to Link's wrist and felt the wild thumping of his pulse. 

And then felt it drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so incredibly short, but my braincell was losing grip and fled!
> 
> I hope y'all lie it and please comment on what you think!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda and Muzu get a piece of someone's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got help from my amazing friend and beta reader
> 
> Sky_squido
> 
> They're amazing so check them out!

"Zelda, catch him! He's gonna-" 

Zelda didn't hear the last of Purah's words as she saw Link pitch forward. She looped her arms around his waist to prevent him from cracking his head on the floor. 

The sudden extra weight brought her to her knees, taking her knight with her. 

"I think that was a bit too much," Purah said. 

It wasn't even a minute later that Link opened his eyes again. The room was spinning even though he was held firmly by Zelda. 

At that moment, Frano walked in and looked at the scene in front of him. He immediately noticed the change in the air. 

"What happened?" 

Zelda felt guilt clawing at her insides. She started this while she had promised herself that she wouldn't be angry. 

"They were arguing. I think that was a bit too much for our knight to handle," Purah explained, knowing Zelda couldn't convey her thoughts at this point. 

"Arguing?" 

The anger was clear in Frano's voice. He wasn't pleased that the princess came in and started to work up his patients. 

"Princess, I kindly ask you to step out and come back when you have calmed down," Frano said. He walked over to the couple on the floor and helped Link up, who had gotten some of his lucidity back. 

That changed when he was standing on his feet. His heart was racing again, trying to give the energy he didn't have, and he almost toppled over again. 

Frano led him back to the bed and as soon as the knight laid in bed, he was out like a light. 

Zelda was then met with the healer's piercing gaze. "We need to talk."

__

Sidon was stuck in a meeting and simply couldn't wait for it to be over so he could visit Link again. 

Muzu went on about this rebuild that was currently happening and then uttered the words that had Sidon look up. 

"He needs to take his responsibilities seriously and not run off to his secret lover!" the elder Zora exclaimed. 

Sidon stood up. A whopping six foot towered over the four foot tall council member. "Excuse me?" he asked with a dangerous tone. "First of all: Link and I are just friends! Second of all: he needs me right now!" 

Muzu visibly looked afraid. "With all due respect, prince Sidon-" 

Sidon cut his council off. 

"No! I take my duties seriously, but if you haven't noticed, we have a knight that was on the brink of death and is still fighting!" 

Muzu wanted to say something, but king Dorephan stepped in. "My son is right. He has taken his duties seriously. He watches over everyone in the domain, including visitors," he started. His voice was strong but kind. "Link is staying here as long as he needs and as long as the healers say he cannot travel," he continued, "If my son chooses to watch over his friend, I will let him." 

With that, the meeting was over and Sidon left the throne room. 

"Old bastard," he muttered. He knew it wasn't appropriate, but he was sick and tired of Muzu's complaining. 

He walked down the stairs and was on his way to the infirmary, when he heard voices. 

"I don't appreciate this behavior, princess." 

That was Frano. 

And indeed, a few feet further, the healer was talking sternly to the princess. 

"This is not how you get him to talk or trust you! He doesn't need your yelling, too."

Sidon stepped to the two and cleared his throat. Both healer and princess looked up. Between them was the scientist. 

"Prince Sidon! I thought you were in a meeting," Frano said. Sidon nodded. "I was. We were just done. However, my question is why you are lecturing the princess."

Zelda let her head drop in shame. "He is right. I let my emotions get the best of me and said hurtful things to Link," she started, "we got into an argument and the stress of it was too much for Link." 

Sidon felt worry get ahold of him. "Is he okay?" he asked. 

Frano nodded. "His blood pressure dropped and he collapsed. But right now he is—" Sidon ran to the infirmary "—sleeping." 

__

It was the second time that Link woke up to sounds, but this time it was a door opening. Upon opening his eyes, he saw Sidon in the room.

"You really need to learn stealth," he said, his voice nothing but a whisper. 

Sidon let out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry for waking you. I heard what happened just now. I'll leave you be," he said. 

Link shook his head the best he could, fought off a brief dizzy spell and looked Sidon straight in the eye. 

"Could you please stay?" 

Sidon didn't hesitate to answer that question with a yes, and sat next to his friend's bed. 

"One of these days, you're gonna give me a heart attack." 

Link smiled wryly. 

"I don't think your father would like that very much." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this incredibly short chapter. I couldn't think of more but please let me know what you think in the comments.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is cleared to go
> 
> Yuki proves to be a great companion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for panic attack
> 
> And a I will keep giving credit to my beta 
> 
> Sky_squido 
> 
> And also I will keep saying to show them some love!

Days later, Link was cleared to go. He wasn't exactly happy  _ where _ he was going. 

"I'm gonna be  _ what _ ?" 

Link looked exasperated at the two women in front of him. Purah stepped forward and opened her mouth to explain further, but Link didn't let her. 

"I've been stuck in here for nearly two months and you're telling me that you want to lock me up like I'm insane?" 

Purah closed her eyes briefly and let out a sigh. She opened her eyes again, looking straight into Link's eyes. 

"You need help, Link, real help. Something I alone cannot give. And as of now, I don't think it's wise to have you out of sight."

Link let out a frustrated yell. "So you think I'm incapable of being in my own home?" he asked, his voice raising with every word. Zelda stepped up this time. "No, you are incapable of being left alone," she countered. "At this moment, I don't trust you with your own life." 

These words felt like a slap in Link's face. He looked at the princess in utter shock. Moments of silence swept over the room and Link let his head hang, knowing he wasn't gonna get out of it. 

He was gonna be supervised twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. 

__

"I hope to see you back soon," Sidon said, holding Link's shoulders. The firm grasp gave Link some sort of ease. It was grounding. "I'm sorry, Sidon, for all the trouble I have caused," he said, articulating his guilt. 

"None of that, my friend," Sidon replied, smiling gently, "you've been hurting and I wish you well in your recovery." 

Link tried to smile, but it hurt to do so. So he just nodded. 

"Are you ready?" Zelda asked. Link nodded again. He walked to his steed and, with some difficulty, he hoisted himself into the saddle. His strength hadn't returned fully yet. 

Yuki was tasked with looking after the knight. The young man felt determined to keep all three companions out of harm's way. 

__

It was night when they were halfway on their journey back to the castle. 

"I think it's best to camp for the night. It's getting late," Zelda said. She looked over to Yuki, who nodded. Link didn't seem to be aware of what was happening. He held his head down, and only looked up when he felt movement next to him. 

Yuki stood next to his horse and only now did he realize they had stopped. "We're gonna camp for the night," Yuki said. Link nodded and dismounted. The motion alone left him out of breath. Never in his life, from what he could remember, did he ever feel this bad. He almost burned during his trip to Death Mountain, got alcohol withdrawal, added new scars every day like a painter adding new strokes to his canvas. Hell, even the Shrine of Resurrection made him feel physically better. 

He'd rather have all that, then feel like all his life force had been drained. 

Zelda had Purah look after Link, while she and Yuki set up their tents. She saw the surprised look on the young soldier's face. "Me and Link used to travel a lot together. He taught me how to set up camp," Zelda explained. "He must be a great companion to travel with, princess," Yuki replied, while setting up the last pole that kept his tent from collapsing. 

Zelda nodded. "Yes," she said, looking where Link and Purah sat, "he is." 

__

Purah and Link sat on a log that so happened to lay close to camp. Both didn't speak, simply because both didn't know  _ what _ to say. 

"I'm sorry." 

These words made Purah look up, as it was Link who uttered them. Purah let out a sigh. "You scared us all," she said. "And honestly, I'm the one who should apologize for failing you."

Link didn't look up, but the slight twitch of his ears indicated that he was in fact listening. 

"Zelda was beside herself when she found you. I was terrified that you wouldn't make it." 

Link let out a sigh of his own. 

"I wish I didn't." 

It didn't matter how many times he'd say it. Those words made Purah worry even more. She had seen him one hundred years ago, with the pressure pushing down on him. He was probably hurting back then and just didn't show it, but she had never seen him this way. 

She believed that his memory loss was the key cause of his current mental state. 

"I just want to see you getting better, Link," she said. 

Link let out a sigh and stood up, walking to one of the tents. He slept soon after he let himself fall on his sleeping mat. 

__

_ "Why?"  _

_ "You failed us!"  _

_ Faceless ghosts were hovering in the field of Blatchery Plains. Decayed guardians were spread around the field, frozen in time.  _

_ "You didn't do enough!"  _

_ "Why, my son, did you let me die?"  _

_ More people, thousands of them, appeared, chanting.  _

_ "Failure!"  _

_ "FAILURE!"  _

**_"FAILURE!"_ **

_ And then a tiny figure appeared in front of him. Dressed in red, blond hair… But when she stepped closer, he saw traces of guardian beams.  _

_ Aryll…  _

_ Her hair was scorched, dress redder than he saw in his other memory, her eyes sightless.  _

_ "Why didn't you come back, brother?"  _

_ __ _

Yuki sat outside at the dying embers with Purah. He was keeping watch, while Purah had difficulty sleeping. Zelda had retired to her tent twenty minutes ago.

The brief silence was disturbed by a scream. Purah turned around to the source and she quickly found out who it was. 

She got up and ran to Link's tent. Upon opening the tent, she found the knight sitting up, trembling. His eyes screwed shut. 

"Link?" 

Zelda had joined at this point and rushed in. She, too, was woken up by the scream. 

"I think he had a nightmare," Purah said. She looked at Link who was still trembling. 

Link was still in his surge of panic, his lungs felt like they were collapsing onto themselves and made breathing impossible. 

_ "Link…" _

Hands found his, and the sudden touch made him snap his eyes open. In front of him sat Zelda. She said something, but he couldn't hear beyond the ringing in his ears. 

His hands were guided to a flat area. Now it was Yuki who sat in front of him. He felt that area move in a pattern. Slow and deep. 

Yuki did his best to stay calm, but deep down he was freaking out. He only had seen one person get a panic attack, and only observed what was happening. But he had to try. 

So with few words and silence of the two women, Yuki worked to get Link back from whatever made him panic this bad. 

"Again. Breathe in."

_ One.  _

_ Two.  _

_ Three.  _

_ Four.  _

  
  


"Breathe out." 

_ One.  _

_ Two.  _

_ Three.  _

_ Four.  _

_ Five.  _

_ Six.  _

Yuki repeated the cycle again and again, until he saw Link coming back to his senses. 

The knight in question looked absolutely exhausted; eyes falling close, and body slumped. 

"Try and sleep," Yuki said. This didn't need to be said twice, as Link was knocked out the moment his head hit the makeshift pillow. 

"Thank you, Yuki," Zelda breathed. 

"You're welcome, princess." 

___

The next day, Link woke up feeling like he was hit by a boulder the size of a Goron. His muscles hurt, especially his chest. 

_ What the hell did I do? _

That question was quickly answered when Zelda came into his tent. "You're awake! You scared me last night," she said. Link gave her a look of confusion. "What the hell happened?" he asked. 

"You had a nightmare, I think, and it scared you to the point that Yuki had to get you out of your panic attack." 

Now, Link understood why he felt the way he did. 

_ "Fuuuuck."  _

Zelda chuckled lightly at that. "Yuki is preparing breakfast. Apparently he can cook too," she said. "We'll be waiting outside for you. And don't hesitate to yell if you need anything." 

After that, Zelda left again, leaving Link to wake up. If only his head didn't feel like it was bashed in. 

"Well, no time to waste. Get up," he told himself. 

That proved more difficult. Because he felt like utter  _ shit _ , he failed to untangle himself properly out of the blanket that was draped over him. The moment he stood up, his legs were tangled in the blanked and gave out from under him. 

With a yelp, he fell face first through the opening of the tent, which caused it to collapse. 

Zelda turned around when she heard a yell and a crash. Purah and Yuki did too. All three looked at Link, who let out a groan and was buried under the tent. 

"Hylia!" Zelda exclaimed. 

"Last time I checked," Link forced out, sounding like a deflated balloon after having the wind knocked out of him, "my name was Link." 

"Oh my Goddess, Link. When I said you could yell if you needed something, I didn't mean 'break your face'," she said, chuckling again. 

With some help from Yuki and Zelda, Link got himself freed from under the tent and out of the blankets. 

"How did you even manage this?" Purah asked. 

"Listen, I am a certified clutz," Link said, getting himself dressed. 

This comment made Zelda laugh to the point of tears.

_ She wouldn't have this if she wasn't in time to save him.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the elections are stressfull right now, so I hope I gave y'all something to keep you mind off of it.
> 
> Even for a bit!
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link, Zelda and Yuko reach Castle Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive!!! The writing braincell said no to me writing, so this one is kinda short, sorry!
> 
> A big thanks to my beta reader
> 
> sky-squido
> 
> Go show them love!

A half day's travel later, the group got to Hyrule castle without much trouble. 

Only a few rogue bokoblins got in the way of the trip, but they were disposed of quickly by Yuki. 

By now, Link caught himself staring at the young soldier. And made him realize that he was useless. Useless to everyone. To the princess, to the kingdom, to his friends. 

He wasn't able to think about it long as Castle Town came into view. 

Link let his eyes fall on the enormous structure that was Hyrule Castle. It was grand and the town was bustling with people. He had missed out on this whole project because he failed to fight his own demons. 

And now he was gonna be stuck for Goddess knows how long. He didn't have a clue what was waiting for him. That alone terrified him to no end. 

The streets were steadily growing silent as the four of them walked towards the castle. Link felt the eyes upon him and it almost seemed like they knew what had happened. 

"He's back!" someone yelled. 

People started to gather and Link suddenly felt like everything was closing in on him. Unsurprising to him, Yuki caught onto it and managed to drive the crowd away. 

Yet again, Link felt like he was useless. He couldn't even be around people. Suddenly, this lock up wasn't such a bad idea. 

_ And he could be free of Yuki.  _

He was led away to another building that stood next to the castle. It was a simple building, not that grand. The tiny hands of anxiety found themselves around his throat, squeezing his windpipe. 

His heart was pounding again, so much so, that it left him dizzy. His ears were ringing, blocking out any sound from outside. Someone grabbed him by the arm to steady him. And looking up, it was none other than Yuki. 

Anger replaced his anxiety and he wrenched his arm from the other's hand. "I'm fine!" he barked, and quickened his pace. 

"Link!" 

Zelda's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned around and glared at the princess and the guard. 

"Why don't you two have a swell time and I'll just sit here being useless," Link said. "Great that he can cook and fight and be amazing at pretty much everything!" 

After those words, Link walked toward the building. 

Zelda quickly followed. Followed by Yuki. The future queen was terrified for her knight. She hoped that this treatment would help. 

It took a bit before Link had calmed down. His emotions were all over the place and he didn't know what to do with them. 

The craving for a drink was back or anything that would make his head stop spinning with thoughts. His mind was his greatest enemy and he'd rather fight monsters than being stuck in his own head. 

Zelda had caught up to him, leaving Yuki behind. The presence of him had only upset Link more, and she didn't want to aggravate him more. 

"What is so special about him? Am I not good enough? Do you want me to be in this place so you can replace me with someone better?" Link asked. 

Zelda shook her head. "No, I would never replace you!" she replied, terrified to where his thoughts went. 

"Oh, don't lie! You know you want to get rid of me," Link said. 

"I want you to be better! I want the old Link back!" Zelda exclaimed. 

"He DIED!  _ Remember? The old Link is dead _ ! He won't come back! EVER!" Link yelled. His face was red with anger, his heartbeat picked up again. 

"Let's go inside." 

___

Link stepped inside the room that was assigned to him. It was a simple design and it almost reminded him of his own house. However, this was not that. There was a simple bed, a desk and a dresser. 

"I know you don't want this, but you need this," Zelda said. Link simply nodded and sat on the bed. He looked around and saw a window. 

Walking up to it, he saw that he couldn't open it all the way. "This place is really set on keeping me alive, isn't it?" he asked. 

"Yes. I hope one day you'll see why we want you here with us."

Link, again, simply nodded. 

"I'll leave you be."

Link didn't reply. He stared out of the window, hoping this was all a nightmare.

Instead it wasn't. 

This was reality. 

He would spend however long in this place, until they deemed him ready to be released. 

___

"Do you think I did well? Sending Link here?" Zelda sat in Purah's new lab. It simultaneously acted like an office. 

"It's the best for him. He needs this and you too," Purah replied. "I've seen you work tirelessly to keep Link with you, but I also saw how it broke you, too." 

Zelda let the words sink in. 

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I think this is better for all of us."

Purah nodded. 

"He's gonna get better. I will eat my shoe if he doesn't." 

Zelda giggled. "I don't think that tastes too well," she said. 

Later today, she was gonna go to the Goddess statue and pray. They all needed her support. 

Link needed it. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link goes down a path no one thought he would go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to introduce a new character.

A few days went by and Zelda went back to the goddess statue to pray. She'd been keeping tabs on Link. Despite it not even being a week, she wanted to know that she had done the right thing. 

Link sat in a chair of yet another therapy session. He felt like he was picked and prodded at every direction and at the end of the day he was left with little energy. 

The sessions opened up things he wanted to keep hidden and he couldn't cope with it. He tried everything in his power to use healthy coping mechanisms, but his mind was yet again fucking with him. 

It took a drastic turn. 

**_No food._ **

The voice yelled at him again after weeks. It wiggled its way back and convinced him that food was for the ones who weren't insane. 

And Link obeyed. 

He started moving. Walking up and down the corridors, convinced that this was the best option. 

Convinced that this was what he deserved. 

Zelda visited him almost daily and those were the days that he had to appear normal. He was already rather skinny, so he suspected that no one would find out. 

Zelda was smart. She suspected something was going on and she was determined to find out. 

"I've been doing fine, Zelda. I'm just tired. It's quite intense." 

Link sat on his bed while Zelda sat on the chair at the desk. He saw her scrutinizing look and almost forgot to breathe.  _ Did she find out?  _

"Have you- have you lost weight?" 

The dreaded question he was hoping he would never hear. He swallowed. "A little bit maybe. I've been busy too, trying to keep myself in shape while being here. Not that there's a lot to do," he said, trying not to sound nervous. 

Zelda knew Link's tendency to manipulate a situation to not tell the truth and this was one of those instances. She wasn't stupid but she also didn't press on the matter and decided to speak to Purah. 

___

"I'm worried." 

Zelda sat, yet again, in front of the small scientist. "Have you seen the way he looks? He looks  _ sick _ ."    
  


Purah hummed. "That's because he is, Zelly," she replied. 

Zelda stood up, the chair tipping over with her momentum. "No! He lost weight. And it looks like a lot too! The times I've seen him.. I've never seen him eat. Normally he would always eat something."

This got Purah thinking. She knew Link's appetite was far less than normal, but she still saw him eat something, even if it was not a lot. 

Link was always skinny, and ate like a hummingbird. But Zelda saw the slight change, the pale complexion. 

"We'll have to watch him even close now," Purah said and Zelda nodded. How smart would one have to be to cheat the system? 

__

Link wasn't stupid. He knew Zelda was onto him, so he had to find ways to not get caught. Every time he would see Zelda look at him in a way or Purah would ask him questions, he had new ways to throw them off. 

This went on for weeks. In that time, more and more people were admitted. He closed himself off from them, finding a secluded spot in the garden under a tree. Silently, he hoped no one would try to talk to him. 

That wish didn't last long. 

"Hi," a casual sounding voice came from his right. Link looked up. "Hi," he replied, but didn't say more.

"Nice weather, isn't it?" 

Link hummed. He noticed he still wasn't left alone. "Sorry, lady, could you leave me alone?" he asked next, instantly realizing how rude he sounded. 

"My name is Itsuki, and I'm not a lady," Itsuki said. Link was about to open his mouth but Itsuki interrupted him, "and no, I'm also not a man."

"I'm sorry, I don't exactly follow," Link said. Itsuki let out a sigh and sat next to the Hylian. 

"I don't feel like a woman, nor a man," they said. "Oh," was all Link could say. Somewhere it felt familiar, like he heard it before. He had encountered people on his travels who were like Itsuki. He was about to say something when his mind was swept away in a place one hundred years prior

~~~

_ "Catch!"  _

_ Link turned around to the sound of the voice, when he felt something hard collide with his head. Losing his balance, he tried to catch himself, but failed, and landed hard on his elbow.  _

_ "I said 'catch', dumbass!"  _

_ Link looked up and was met with Charlie and his cronies. "The greatest knight in hyrule and he can't even catch a package," Charlie chided, earning a laugh from his minions.  _

_ Link said nothing.  _

_ "Aw, is the poor lad scared? Cat catched your tongue? Mute?"  _

_ Link hated it when they used that insult. He couldn't help that he locked up when he wanted to speak. "Why did the king choose such a useless scrawny boy like you? You can't even talk!"  _

_ Charlie grabbed a stone from the ground and was ready to throw it, when he was stopped.  _

_ A soldier he had never seen had grabbed Charlie by his wrist and managed to stop the bully mid movement. _

_ "Try that and the king will hear of this," The soldier said. Link couldn't see their face because of the hood they wore.  _

_ Charlie apparently got the message and walked off. His friends followed him.  _

_ The soldier waited for the group to leave, when they turned to Link." You're okay?" they asked. Link nodded at first, when he felt the pain come back when he moved his arm. "Maybe we should take you to the infirmary," the soldier said.  _

_ __ _

_ Link sat on the bed when the nurse went to work on his elbow. He looked up and finally saw the face of the person who saved him from Charlie.  _

_ "Thanks, man," he found himself saying, and was even surprised himself that the works came out so easily.  _

_ "You're welcome."  _

_ Link was silent for a minute. "What's your name?" he asked. "Sam. I recently joined," Sam said. "You're a brave man, Sam," Link said, smiling.  _

_ Sam's smile fell. "I- I actually am not a man." Link cocked his head in slight confusion. "And also not a woman, before you ask," Sam continued. This made Link even more confused.  _

_ "I see your confusion. And honestly, you're not the only one. I'll try to explain," Sam said. The nurse was done with wrapping up Link's elbow and gave the introduction to take it easy. He wasn't allowed to do strenuous activities.  _

_ "So, if you don't feel like a man or a woman… Then what are you then?" Link asked. Immediately he regretted the way he asked his question and apologized.  _

_ "It's okay, I'll explain. I don't identify as a man nor a woman. I'm neither and it took a while before anyone knew what it was, until someone came to me and said that a family member of them also felt that way," Sam started, "and they had found a name for it. _

_ Link listened intently. He was interested and wanted to learn more.  _

_ "So, does this have a name?" he asked and Sam nodded. "I'm non-binary, meaning I'm neither gender." _

_ "So.. Not a she or a he?" Link asked shyly, not wanting to be yelled at for asking such a question.  _

_ "No, and this may sound strange, but I use they/them, like, as my pronouns." Sam let out a chuckle, nervous for Link's reaction.  _

_ "I think it's not strange. I'll try to remember. Definitely tell me if I am wrong, please," Link said.  _

_ Sam chuckled, feeling the relief wash through their body.  _

_ "Thank you." _

_ ~~~ _

Link came back to reality with Itsuki hanging over him.  _ When did he lay down? _

"Are you okay?" Itsuki asked, their voice wavering with fear. "You just fell over, just staring at nothing! I thought you were dying!" 

Link tried to explain what happened, but his mind was so overwhelmed with the sudden memory, he had trouble coming to terms with the fact that Sam was also a victim in the siege of Calamity. 

He didn't know when he made himself as small as he could, but he vaguely heard himself yell in terror. 

_ "I've murdered them all!" _


	26. Chaptwr 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link is starting his road of recovery.
> 
> That's a battle on its own.

Link wasn't aware of the next minutes. Everything went by in a blurr and he eventually didn't remember a thing. 

The next thing he was aware of, was him laying in a bed. He didn't recognize his surroundings and for a moment he felt his heart leap into his throat. 

Apparently someone sat next to him, because that person stopped him from getting up. "Don't over exert yourself," the voice said. 

_ Zelda.  _

"What-" 

Zelda hovered over him and wore a look of concern. "The head nurse came and got me. You were freaking out and they had to sedate to get you here," she explained. 

Now Link knew why he felt so deflated and woozy. He didn't have any memory of what happened. "Just try to take it easy now," Zelda said. Link nodded and decided that sleep was the best thing for now. 

___

"I don't have an eating problem!" 

Link sat across Zelda and Purah. After his mental breakdown, Zelda was even more worried. She needed to confront him. 

"Link, you look sick! You look so unbelievably skinny, it's not even healthy anymore!" 

When Link just looked at her, Zelda pulled him along to the life sized mirror and had him look in it. 

"Look. What do you see?" Zelda asked, pointing at Link's reflection. Link stared at himself, taking in his form. "I see me. An unworthy piece of shit," he finally said. 

"Do you know what I see?" Zelda asked. She didn't mean to be curt with her friend, but he needed to see what she saw. 

"I see someone who fails to see all the good they did. I see someone who still fights to this day," she said. "But you also fail to see that you are slowly killing yourself this way." 

Link stared, yet again, at his reflection; his shirt was too big on him, his face looked like someone took a spoon and hollowed out his cheeks and his already skinny frame now had the resemblance of a near skeleton. 

It was at that moment that he realized that this was getting bad. For weeks, he had fooled his therapists, Zelda, and himself. 

He had fooled himself when he thought he could find solace in alcohol. Ever since that was taken away, his addiction prone self had found new ways to sabotage his recovery. At this point, he didn't even know why. He knew it was harmful, he knew it was destroying his body. 

And still he did it. 

He was simply convinced he didn't deserve getting better. 

"Do you realize that this has to stop? I want you back! And maybe it sounds selfish, but let me be selfish! I want my friend back! Not whoever this," Zelda pointed widely at Link, "person is!" 

Link let the words sink in. He realized now that he had hurt Zelda in the last months. He realized that she put so much effort in helping him, and he just let it explode in both his and her face. 

Zelda panicked when Link suddenly dropped to his knees. But then she saw his shoulders shake and she realized he was crying. 

She sat next to him. 

"Link, I don't say this to hurt you, or that I'm angry with you. I care about you, I  _ want  _ you to get better and live again." 

_ "I'm so sorry!"  _ was practically all Link could force out. He meant it. He felt so ashamed that he wouldn't be angry if Zelda left him. 

"You've done so much for me, and I fucked it up!" 

Zelda looked back at Purah, who only gave her a nod. She then wrapped her arms around Link's shoulders and pulled him close. 

"Why are you so nice to me, while all I did was hurting you?" Link asked, after he had calmed down more. 

"You did hurt me, yes, but I knew you fought with your own mind for so long, I knew this was all part of this process."

Link just nodded. 

"I want you to try. I want to see the courage you have shine again."

Link, again, nodded. 

"I'll try, Zelda, I'll try." 

___

The next day, Link found himself in front of a plate with food. For several minutes he just stared at it, while he fought an internal battle of the wits. 

The voice kept yelling at him. 

**_Do you really need this? Remember that food is for the sane people._ **

_ I need this!  _

**_Hah! As if! Y-_ **

_ You don't control me!  _

And like that, he managed to drown the voice out and focus on the task ahead. 

He knew that this wouldn't be better in one day, but he was determined to try. Ever so slowly, he reached out when another voice interrupted. 

"Mind if I sit with you?" 

Link looked up and was met with Itsuki. He hadn't seen them since his breakdown. "Yeah, sure." 

Itsuki sat down and stayed silent for a minute. "I haven't seen you since what happened in the garden," they said. Link nodded. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

Itsuki simply shrugged. "It's okay. We're all here for different reasons." Link looked back at his food and realized that in order to overcome this eating problem, he had to try and take a bite. 

But today was not that day. He managed to take a small bite, but that spiraled into a bout of panic. He was terrified of losing the control he had. 

His leg bounced up and down to try and get a hold of his emotions but it proved difficult. Different voices yelled at him. They ridiculed him, called him every name in the book. 

He suddenly was very aware of Itsuki's presence and regret having them at the table with him.  _ They'll probably think i'm weak _ , he thought. Zelda wasn't here to help. He had to do it on his own right now. 

"I'm sorry." 

It was all he said, before he got up and walked out of the room. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he needed to be far away from that place. 

He turned a corner and another corner, until he walked into a room he didn't see before. That room held a piano. 

Slowly, he walked over and inspected the instrument. It was a simple wooden one with the Royal insignia on it, and black and white ivories. 

He sat down on the stool in front of him and for some reason, it felt familiar. He didn't know why, but it did. 

And a melody came into his mind. He had heard it before, but again, he didn't know where. 

Ever so slowly, he placed his fingers on the keys and started playing. 

___

Zelda finally found time to visit Link. Her royal duties were piling up to the point that she had no time to see her friend. 

She was halfway through the hallway when Purah ran up to her. "Zelly! You're just in time! I need you!" the small scientist exclaimed. Fear immediately gripped at her heart. 

"Did something happen? Is Link okay?" 

Purah said nothing and pulled Zelda along. Zelda hadn't heard anything from Link. Her innate fear of losing him was still ever present. 

But what she encountered was something she never thought she'd see. Purah had pulled her toward a separate room where she knew she'd placed a piano. 

"What-" 

Purah shushed her. "Be quiet. I found this out a few days ago."

The two Hylians slowly crept closer to the room and Zelda could hear the piano play. 

And a voice. 

Someone was singing. 

Zelda looked around the corner and was surprised to see Link sitting at the piano, completely lost in his play. 

_ "I don't have much but at least I still have me, I still have me!  _

_ And that's all I need _

_ So take my faith but at least I still believe, I still believe!  _

_ And that's all I need.  _

_ I don't have much but at least I still have me!"* _

If Zelda's jaw wasn't attached to her face, it would've dropped to the floor. Pura looked up. "You're gaping, Zelda," she whispered. 

"When- how?" Zelda sputtered. 

Purah pulled the princess away from the room; she didn't want to startle Link. While walking back to Purah's office, Zelda started asking her questions. 

"When did he start this?" 

Purah shrugged. "I don't really know. I think roughly a week ago? The thing is, no one said to him to try and find something to focus on. He did this himself."

Zelda was positively surprised. She didn't think Link would find something to focus on and channel the emotions he had. 

"I didn't know he could even sing! I heard him hum when he cooked or when he was tending to the horses," Zelda exclaimed, " but not this!" 

"He's full of surprises." 

Zelda agreed. Her knight always knew to dig out something new she didn't know about him. 

"I think his mother used to play piano," Purah suddenly said. "His mother? But he has no recollection of her," Zelda replied. 

"Somewhere deep down, he remembers. I think it just came out this way."

Zelda nodded. 

_ Was Link even aware?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *song: I still have me - Demi Lovato


	27. Chapyer 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link discovers a new parr about himself and a memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR BEING SO INCONSISTENT!!
> 
> HOLY SHIT. 
> 
> A lot has happened. I'm in therapy and do not alway feelnlike writing. This chapter was hard because I'm trying to figure out howbto write recovery arcs lmao
> 
> Anyway enjoy!

Link found himself getting back to that piano, and playing whatever he was feeling that day. 

His friendship with Itsuki got closer and he managed to eat a full meal for the first time in weeks. He knew he wasn't at the end goal by far, but he tried nonetheless. 

It had been two months since he was admitted and four months since his suicide attempt. Very far and few, memories returned to him. 

He still didn't know the mystery of the piano and why he knew how to play. And why it felt so familiar. 

"I see you think. What's on your mind?" Itsuki asked when Link had taken them to the piano. He needed to share this with someone, and the only one he trusted was Itsuki.

"I just don't know why I am so drawn to this thing," Link mused. He stared at the ivories like they were holding the answers. "I have this melody in my head but I just don't know where I know it from." 

"I don't know. Maybe you had a family member that played?" 

Itsuki's question had Link stop what he was doing. He was a little distracted and only heard half of what was said. "I'm sorry, what?" he asked. 

"Maybe you had a family member that played the piano?" Itsuki repeated. They had their gaze fixed on the royal insignia that was carved into the wood of the piano, when they heard a gasp and then the bang of the piano keys being slammed on at once. 

Looking up, they saw Link leaning on the piano keys, trying to keep his balance. His eyes were fixed on one point, but they didn't look at anything. 

Itsuki remembered the first time this happened. It hadn't happened in a while and they still didn't know what it was. Link was still a mystery to them, only revealing small things about himself. 

"Link?" 

Link stumbled, and almost fell backwards. But the wall prevented that and he slid down it, ending up sitting on the floor. 

Itsuki didn't really know what to do. Last time Link came out of his trance, he freaked out and they were afraid it would happen again. 

There was no way they could get help. If Link were to come back to his senses, there was no way of knowing how he would react. 

So they stayed at his side. 

___

Purah was walking the hallways again. She just finished her paperwork and decided to do her rounds. It was quiet but she knew Link was playing the piano at this hour, so she decided to go and peek. 

He didn't know that she and Zelda knew. He also didn't know that Zelda wanted to see if someone was gonna use the instrument. 

Upon getting closer, she failed to hear any melody.  _ Maybe he couldn't or didn't want to play?  _ She thought. She continued walking and was met with Itsuki on the floor with Link. 

"Doctor Purah, I'm glad to see you! I don't know what happened!" Itsuki exclaimed, "he suddenly fell over." 

Purah looked at Link who had a vacant look in his eyes. The blue orbs looked around but saw nothing. 

Itsuki talked further about what happened. 

"And then I asked if a family member might have played the piano, and since then, he's like that," they said. 

It hit Purah suddenly; Link had a memory. 

She knew this would pass, but it was always a surprise how he came out of it. She hoped it wouldn't be like last time. 

It was a few minutes later that Link came back to his senses. Confused, he looked around, forgetting for a moment where he was. 

His eyes then landed on the piano. 

"My mom played the piano when I was a kid," he said in utter disbelief. Purah nodded. She found out about this just a few days ago after obtaining lost records of Link's old life. 

"You didn't know?" Itsuki asked. They were getting more and more confused and had more questions than answers. 

"I didn't remember until now," Link replied, still feeling a bit out of it. 

"What do you mean by 'you didn't remember until now'?" Itsuki asked. "You forgot or something? Did you hit your head that hard, that you forgot?" 

Link glanced at Purah, begging for help. He didn't know how to explain and the scientist seemed to catch onto it. 

"Link has amnesia," Purah explained, "and he doesn't remember his life from before." 

Itsuki's eyes swept from Purah to Link. 

"Holy shit," was all they could say. 

Link nodded. "You could say that. The memories come back at random. I don't have control over them when they come to me." 

Itsuki didn't really know how to respond. They had known Link for a while now, but didn't know a lot about him. 

It came as a surprise. 

"Your mom was a great pianist. She taught you when you were but a small child," Purah said. "You had an affinity with both sword and instrument. You picked it up super fast." 

Now Link knew why he picked up on playing the Kalimba so fast. 

**_You killed her._ **

The voice he had drowned out for weeks now, was back. 

_ Please, no!  _

He squeezed his eyes shut, blocking the voice again. He didn't want to be reminded of his failures all over again. 

It was the one thing that led him in the place he was in the first place. 

He let out a deep sigh, trying to lessen the tight feeling in his chest. Purah stood in front of him, grabbing his hand that wasn't tangled in his hair. 

"Can you tell me what is happening right now?" 

Link searched for words, but his mind came up with nothing. Till this day, he was still struggling to find words for his feelings. 

"Confused." 

It was simply all he could come up with. He felt confused. 

"I feel like the more I remember, the less I feel like me and it's terrifying and frustrating," he continued. 

He let out a sigh. 

"And the more the voices start yelling at me that I'm responsible for her death, the more it makes me want to hide."

After relaying all he could say, he felt lighter than he had before. However, it also made him tired. 

Emotions required a lot of energy and speaking about them made him exhausted. 

But this was a start. And damn, he was going to continue to rise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment! I love to read your thoughts!
> 
> Also a big thanks again to my lovely beta
> 
> sky_squido
> 
> Check their works out! They're amazing!!


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